The Baby
by Educate the Masses
Summary: Sequel to Perspective. Kate has a decision to make. Castle and Sorenson are involved. BTW I don't own anyone...never have.
1. Chapter 1

**Sequel to Perspective. This story starts about two months later. There isn't a mystery here, but I may write one eventually. This is more about who Beckett and Castle are when they aren't working. Beckett has to take a day off. **

**Ch. 1**

Detective Kate Beckett loved her job. She loved her family. Really, she had no complaints. She was dating a nice, good-looking guy with a good job who loved her. She reasoned with herself over and over. She had to make a decision. She had a piece of paper in front of her that had been folded in half length-wise. Kate methodically listed the Pros on the left side and the Cons on the right. The left side had many, many reasons extending down half the page. The right side had only two items, but they were biggies.

Three days ago she thought her life had calmed down. There was all of the excitement over her "incident" two months ago. Her hand went to the spot on her head where one of the holes had been drilled. She was shot at with her vest on; the hit knocked her down and she hit her head resulting in a subdural hematoma that required surgery. After the surgery, Will Sorenson took her to Hilton Head, South Carolina to recuperate.

Hilton Head was incredible. They stayed in a house right on the water. Kate spent her days reading on the open deck, sunbathing on the incredible beach and swimming in the clear blue ocean. She had to give Will credit, he did his best to make sure that she rested and had no worries. They ate out every evening, because Will didn't cook and didn't want her to do it either. Even at night when they slept in the same bed, Will didn't expect anything. They only had sex once during their stay, the night before they left.

Once they returned, she went back to work. Castle was apparently doing a PR tour for two weeks, hitting late night talk shows, the morning programs and doing interviews with various publications. So by the time she saw him again, it had been almost a month since she said goodbye. Kate knew that Richard Castle had feelings for her. If she was being truthful she would say they were reciprocated 100%. When she left with Will, she knew she hurt him. It wouldn't have surprised her if she never saw him again. What she didn't expect was the ache in her heart. Castle was in her fantasies and her dreams.

When she saw him at a crime scene for the first time in a while, she was so excited she was shaking. But he wasn't the same Rick. Through that whole case he was serious and there was none of the playful banter they used to have. It broke her heart. She wanted to talk to him, like they used to, about all of the things that niggled at her brain. And yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that every word she said to him stung.

Three days ago, Will Sorenson proposed to her. Thank God he did it in the park without an audience, because she said she needed time to think. Eventually he would be transferred to another city. As his wife, she would be expected to go with him. Her family could handle that now, and truth be told, Kate would be fine working for a different jurisdiction. She made her list immediately. But she still couldn't decide.

The two items on the Cons list were huge to her: a) She was in love with Richard Castle, and b) Will Sorenson did not want children. It was terrible, she thought, to marry one man when you were in love with another, but she was pretty sure Castle had moved on, she lost her chance. Her mother always told her that love was not only a feeling but also an action. She could love Will Sorenson, but would she if he never changed his mind about having children?

His logic was sound. They were both in very dangerous jobs. Neither really wanted to leave their job to stay at home with a child. The thought of orphaning a child disturbed them both. The memories of losing a parent in a violent act were still fresh in Kate's mind. Perhaps _her_ mind would change.

It was at ten o'clock one Thursday evening that started the cascade of events, the tipping point.

"Beckett."

"Kate, we need you. Can you do us a huge favor?"

"Jorge?" He never called this late. "What's wrong?" Jorge and his wife Emma just had their third child two weeks ago, a beautiful baby boy named Ethan. Jorge and Emma were close family friends. The bittersweet part of it was that their middle child would never know little Ethan. A precocious child at six years old, their son Luke was killed in a freak small plane accident outside of the city two years ago. The heaviness in her chest just thinking about the incident overwhelmed her, because of her status as a police officer, Kate had access to everything. She was there in the emergency room with Jorge when he was finally able to see Luke—after he was gone. They have an older son, Noah, who is nine and autistic, which was also a devastating blow to Jorge and Emma, both extremely brilliant scientists.

This decision to have another child was complicated, involving a vasectomy reversal and a miscarriage for Emma. So the birth of Ethan was long-awaited and joyous. The anxiety in Jorge's voice set Kate on edge.

"Don't worry, it's just that Emma is having an unusual amount of bleeding still and today she passed out. The doctor is concerned about the blood loss and so is Avery." Avery was Kate's sister and also happened to be a brilliant midwife. She delivered Ethan. "They want to do exploratory surgery tomorrow and maybe cauterize some blood vessels. I don't want to leave her there alone, but a hospital is no place for a newborn. Especially with this flu going around. Could you…keep Ethan for us tomorrow?"

"Me? I mean Jorge, I'll do anything for you guys, but you have to know I'm not the most experienced…"

"Kate, we've seen you with children—babies before. Now if you can't get off work, we understand, but we have the utmost confidence that you'll be great. The pediatrician also said that having someone watch him who doesn't have children would be best. They are germ magnets." He chuckled.

"Who's watching Noah?"

"Maggie already has him." Maggie was Kate's other sister. She was a stay-at-home mom raising three boys herself.

"Okay…well…sure." She nodded to herself. "I'll take Ethan."

"Great. We have to be at the hospital by six tomorrow morning, so we'll be at your place at five. Okay?"

"Five? In the morning?" She pushed a large sigh through her lips. "Okay, I'll see you then."

"Thanks so much Kate."

"Any time." She said those words with hesitation.

As she hung up the phone, she had an idea. Maybe Will could do this with her. Maybe having him around this precious new baby would get the wheels turning. She hit speed dial and waited.

"Hey, you." Sorenson answered. "What are doing this evening? Still pondering over my proposal?"

She ignored his salutation. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I have a day full of meetings and debriefings. Why?"

"I have to take the day off to babysit for Ethan and I was wondering if you'd join me."

"Kate, I can't take the day off to play with someone's baby. Do babies even play?"

Kate sighed again. "This wasn't arbitrary, Will. Emma is having surgery tomorrow. They need my help."

"What time are they picking him up? Maybe we can go out later."

"They didn't say. Give me a call tomorrow and I'll let you know." She was irritated. He made it sound like she was just skipping work for no good reason.

"Don't be mad, Kate. You know this isn't my thing."

"I'm not mad. We'll talk tomorrow."

"I love you," he said.

"Me too." She lied.


	2. Chapter 2

**This one has a little angst, but you know I'm not done with them yet. Thanks for reading!**

**Ch. 2**

When they knocked on her door at precisely five, all Kate could say was that she was dressed and had half a cup of coffee in her system. Jorge quickly went to work. He was a good looking guy, even though he had lost quite a bit of hair since Kate had known him. He was olive-skinned with dark eyes and dark hair. Jorge was maybe an inch taller than Kate (when she wasn't wearing heels). He brought Ethan in first, all snuggled in the car seat. The baby had changed a little from the day she first saw him; the day he was born. He had his parents' olive complexion, and she was sure he would eventually have dark eyes, but he was the most beautiful infant Kate had ever seen next to her own nieces and nephews. Emma came in and immediately sat down. Emma was also attractive, but her olive complexion was very pale today, and even her long beautiful straight hair seemed to be weighing her down. Kate thought she looked terrible.

"What can I do to help?" Kate asked Jorge.

"You are helping enough." He smiled at her, but she could sense the worry behind his expression and she knew it was for his bride. He went about setting up the portable crib in Kate's room, explaining how breast milk had to be thawed and warmed up and that his sleep pattern was no pattern whatsoever. Kate went over to the carseat where the infant now slept soundly.

"It's going to be fine, guys. Don't worry about us." She looked over at Jorge and Emma, hugging and kissing each of them on the cheek, she said, "Call me later and let me know how it's going."

Emma smiled weakly and commented, "I'm just ready for this to be solved so I can get back to being a mom." They left after kissing Ethan on the head.

Kate had decided the night before that the best way to keep the Captain from saying, "No" to the day off was to show up in the morning, baby in tow, and insist. Her plan was working perfectly.

Beckett walked into the precinct Friday morning and all eyes were on her. All eyes except Castle's that is, because he was getting coffee. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she was wearing a white v-neck t-shirt, jeans and running shoes. Beckett was attractive and never had any trouble getting the visual attention of her peers, but today what drew their stares was the brown and blue wallpaper looking bag thrown over her shoulder and the very tiny blanket wrapped infant she was clutching to her chest.

Esposito's first thought was that she found an abandoned infant, but he quickly dismissed it. She would have called them. No, something was definitely up. Kate headed straight for the captain's office and entered without knocking.

Captain Montgomery looked up at her and was instantly speechless. "Captain, I need to have the day off." Beckett stated.

"Detective Beckett, where did you get that baby?"

Kate explained the situation and that her friends really had no other option. At that moment, Ethan decided to test his lungs. Kate looked at her watch and furrowed her brow.

"What's wrong, Beckett?"

"Nothing. He's hungry."

"Okay, take the day. But you know I hate it when you spring things on me. Call me next time."

"Yes, sir." Kate rolled her eyes after she turned around. She knew that surprise was the only method of attack for the Captain. Kate exited his office and headed straight for the break room. She quickly side-stepped Castle as he was coming out of the room with a steaming hot cup of espresso.

Castle took a few more steps into the squad and froze. _Did I just see that?_ He turned around and watched as Kate Beckett set the diaper bag down on the counter. She grabbed her coffee mug and ran the tap constantly feeling for it to get hot.

"Kate?" Castle inquired. "What?...Whose?..." Castle was dumbfounded. When he finally found his voice he asked "Are you taking life coaching from Angelina Jolie?"

"Huh?" She responded, wrinkling her nose and furrowing her brow.

"Did you adopt a child, because I know you weren't pregnant yesterday?"

She blushed, "Babysitting for a friend Castle." She was actually a little surprised. He sounded a bit like the old Castle.

She filled the mug with hot water and set the bottle inside. As the bottle was warming, Beckett murmured to the top of the fussy newborn's head. "I know. You're hungry. It's coming, little man." Castle watched her with a new fascination. It brought him to a new level of attraction.

"Wouldn't the microwave be faster?"

"Yeah, it would, but microwaves leave hot spots and this is breast milk, so no microwaving." She continued to sway with the baby. He couldn't stop staring at her, and she knew that she was having an effect. After a few minutes, Beckett picked up the bottle and swirled it. She sat down and laid Ethan on her lap. She shook the bottle over her wrist. _Perfect._ Beckett picked Ethan back up and cradled him to her chest. As he turned his head towards her, she slipped the nipple into his mouth. _Easy._

Finally, she had a moment to look up. Castle was leaning against the counter staring at her with a look she couldn't quite place. Ryan and Esposito were standing in the doorway. The looks on their faces were easy—_shock_. "I'm taking the day off. Little Ethan's mother is having surgery today and I'm babysitting."

"Oh. You don't strike me as the babysitting type, Beckett." Esposito remarked.

"Don't get any ideas, Esposito. I don't change diapers that big."

They all grinned. Almost like old times. Kate looked back down at the baby and the bottle. "Castle, can you look in that bag for a burp cloth?"

Rick opened the bag and quickly found what she was looking for. Throwing the cloth over her shoulder, Kate removed the bottle from the baby's mouth with a little "pop." He objected loudly, but she brought him to her shoulder and proceeded to pat him on the back firmly. After, she extracted two solid burps from him (that happened to impress the men in the room) she let him resume his meal.

"So where are you going now?" Castle queried when she finished feeding him.

"Home." She smiled. "I think Ethan here has had his little outing for the day."

"Do you have any help?"

"What, Castle? Don't think I can handle it? I can incapacitate Russian mobsters with my bare hands but I can't take care of a newborn baby?"

"Two completely different skill sets needed for those tasks, Detective."

She bristled and was about to strike back.

"And I didn't say you couldn't handle it. But babies are…well…demanding." She had finished burping Ethan the second time. Castle was curious. "May I?" He held out his hands.

"Sure." She said and her brow furrowed again. She moved the child off her shoulder so she could hand him off.

"Don't be so surprised, Detective," Castle remarked as he took the burp cloth off her shoulder and threw it over his own. "I do have a child who started out as a baby. Now let's see how much of this I remember." He reached down and slid one hand in between hers and the baby's head and the other hand up the back of the baby.

Watching him hold this child stirred something new in Kate. He caught her eyes and she tried to look away before he could see her desire. But she was too late. He noticed, and he couldn't resist.

"Can I come with you?" He asked.

"Where?"

"Home. To help you with Ethan. I swear I'll leave when you tell me to."

"Why do you want to? I mean he's cute and all, but not many people would like to spend their day with a baby. He doesn't do much." Her thoughts drifted to Will.

"I like babies." He said. "Not likely to have anymore of my own. Hopefully it will be a while before Alexis has one." He cringed. Kate smiled. "And you forget, detective that I'm writing a series of books based on you. This adds a new element to your character." He said this with a gleam in his eye.

"Okay, you can come. You might prove to be useful. However, you have to promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"That you won't use this to get Nikki Heat knocked up." She smiled, but inwardly thought, _would that be so bad?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch. 3**

Every time Castle learned something new about Kate he was surprised. He wondered if she would ever stop surprising him. The newest surprise was that Kate had a car. That really shouldn't have surprised him, but he always saw her driving the Crown Vic. He just assumed that she took the subway when she wasn't working. Kate drove a black Toyota Prius with tinted windows. He sat in the back with Ethan and pondered this fact.

"How did I not know that you had a car?"

"I don't know Castle; I'm very protective of my private life. There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Why are you letting me in now?"

"Don't make me change my mind." Kate said through a clenched jaw. But he saw her blush in the rearview mirror.

_She does have feelings for me._ He thought. _There's still hope._ Yeah, he was still holding onto some sort of hope that she would trust him. That she would let him in. That she would let him love her. Seeing her with Ethan stirred other emotions deep inside him. What if they did work out? What if they were married? He had goose bumps. What if they had a child of their own? Amazingly enough, that thought didn't scare him, it excited him. And again he was surprised. _She's still dating Will you idiot, stop torturing yourself._

They walked into her apartment, Castle carrying the car seat with Ethan, and Kate had the diaper bag. This was only his second time to her apartment, but the first time he was much more stressed. Kate said, "You okay here?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I just…nature calls. I'll be right back."

He watched her leave the room and his eyes were drawn to the doorway. He remembered the last time he was here, two months ago, and an incredible kiss that happened against that wall. Just the memory left his senses tingling. But she didn't choose him. Ethan made a fussy noise from the car seat getting Rick's attention.

Unhooking him, Castle picked him up and cradled him against his chest. He was pacing around the room and stopped in front of Kate's pictures. Looking at her pictures was like getting a window into her past. Kate was quite the traveler, with her family and by herself. There was a great picture of her and her siblings at the Grand Canyon. She looked really young there, an awkward, gangly teenager, but you could tell she was just about to bloom. He hadn't realized that he picked it up until she spoke.

"That was a really fun trip. The first time my parents let me travel with my brother and sisters without them. It was June and I had just finished my freshman year of high school. My brother, Andrew, was in Grad school and Avery had just graduated from nursing school. She was newly engaged to Jacob. Jacob took the picture." There was sadness in her voice and he couldn't figure out why. She brightened again. "We drove in Jacob's parents' suburban from New York to Phoenix, stopping at Carlsbad Caverns. We met up with Maggie and Justin there. Maggie had just finished her sophomore year at Arizona State. Justin was working there, waiting for her to finish so they could move back here. We took a trip up to the Canyon. My mom kept calling and saying 'Don't get too close to the edge. Don't fall in.'" She was smiling.

He smiled. He set the picture down. Looking at all of the others, he glanced down at Ethan, and looking back his eyes settled on another photo, this one of a young family. Kate came up to stand beside him, her arm brushing against his. He fingered the photo of the young family, silently asking a question. "That's Ethan's family. Jorge, Emma, Noah and Luke." The sadness was back. He looked at her, and saw the tears in her eyes. She shook her head. "A story for another time." She said. He nodded his head.

"Do you want anything? I'm going to make a fresh pot of coffee. I've been up since four forty-five."

"That sounds great. But if you want to go take a short nap, I'll be fine here."

Kate glanced at the clock, surprised that it was almost eleven. She still hadn't heard from Jorge about Emma. "Maybe later. I'm going to try to call Jorge and see how things are going." Her call went straight to voicemail and she left him a message. Kate sipped her coffee and stared at Castle. He seemed completely comfortable with a baby in his arms. She felt a flutter deep inside her.

"What?" Rick remarked. "Is my fly open? You're staring."

"You just don't seem that out of practice."

"Like riding a bike, detective. Although you don't seem so out of practice yourself."

"My youngest nephew is three, Castle. I'm not _that_ out of practice." Just then they heard a very loud sound from the baby.

"Was that?" Castle asked.

"Think so." Beckett answered, eyebrows raised.

"That should hurt."

Beckett just smiled and shook her head.

"So do we go change him now?"

Kate curled her lips and shook her head. "If he's like all of the other breast-fed babies I've known, he's not finished."

Sure enough, he wasn't. They finally decided that it was time to change him. Those diapers only hold so much. "So you have a lot of experience with babies, huh? Whoa. How does all of that come out of a tiny baby?"

"I know, but at least it doesn't smell. I always thought that if I ever had children, I would breastfeed for that reason alone. And I have six nieces and nephews, Castle, so I do have quite a bit of experience. But I've never had to babysit one so small for so long. He's precious, but he scares me a little."

"How many boys? How many girls? Names? Ages?" Castle watched in amazement as Kate methodically took care of the diaper. All he had to do was hold the plastic bag.

"Split down the middle. Maggie has boys: 9, 6, and 3. Avery has girls: 12, 7, and 4. Johanna, Jonathan, Kate, Austin, Lily and Beckett." She put a fresh diaper on the boy and started to snap up the romper.

"Kate? Was she named after you?" Castle picked up Ethan while Kate went to dispose of the diaper and wash her hands.

"Yeah, me and the doctor. We both have the same name. Saved her life between the two of us, so Avery named her for us. Said it was the least she could do." Kate went to the kitchen and started fixing sandwiches for lunch while they talked. She was very hungry all of the sudden.

"There's a story there…spill."

"Not really as exciting as you might think." Kate smiled. "It _was_ almost tragic, but there was no real heroic save involved.

"Johanna contracted Fifth's disease when Avery was newly pregnant with Kate. They had a bear of a time conceiving her, and then this. So by the time you know that your child has the disease, she has already been contagious. No stopping it. Two weeks later, Avery had it: rash, arthritis, fever on top of one the worst cases of morning sickness I have ever seen. By the time Avery was 18 weeks along, Kate was dying."

When Beckett remembers things it looks like she actually goes back to that time. "My mom was gone, so Jacob, Maggie, Andrew and I were her support system. The only thing they could do was a fetal blood transfusion. I have O negative blood. I gave the blood, Kate the doctor did the transfusion and voila, baby on the mend. It was two days of hell after then transfusion though. The doctors couldn't do it the way they wanted. So we spent two days waiting to see if she would get better or die." They sat down to eat, Castle cradling Ethan who had drifted off to sleep.

"You've already had so many adventures with your sisters' children, makes me wonder what kind of adventures you'll have with your own" Castle pondered. He didn't know if he was strong enough to handle that kind of fear. The most fear he's ever felt was when Kate was shot. It almost broke him.

"Who says I want children?" She frowned. "I probably won't ever have any."

"Why not? You are so good with him. And it's obvious that you love your nieces and nephews. You would be a great mom."

"Really. So what happens if I'm killed on the job? I'd leave a child without a parent. Is that worth it?"

"There are always risks, Kate. People die in car accidents, or they get cancer. Any number of things can take you out of this world. You just take each day, each moment for what it is. Carpe Diem. Not just for dead poets."

Kate nodded and gathered the dishes. She took them to the sink. Castle watched her from the table. There was something going on with her. He could almost see the emotional struggle in her face. It wasn't the story she told. He was sure of that, but there was something that was really bothering her. She lifted her arms up over her head and stretched, yawning at the same time. As she did that her shirt rose up and Castle got a glimpse of her stomach, again, it reminded him of a moment two months previous. _I should have tried harder for her._ Regret washed over him.

"I think I'm going to take you up on that nap now." Kate said, suppressing another yawn. "I'll leave the bedroom door cracked. Just yell if you need anything."

"We'll be fine." As Kate made her way to her bedroom, Castle went over to sit on the couch and grabbed the remote. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a piece of paper stuck between the couch cushions. It was folded in half lengthwise and appeared to be a list of some sort. Curious, he picked it up and began to read.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay folks. My children are out of school for Fall break; I hardly get to touch the computer. This chapter was hard to write (and might be a little choppy), not sure why, but I know where the story is going now, so be patient. **

**Ch. 4**

It took him a minute to understand what he was reading. But when it finally sunk in his heart started to hammer in his chest and ears. The part about her being in love with him was _almost_ something to be deliriously happy about. But something big was happening here. Castle gathered that Will had proposed. Kate was seriously considering it, despite not loving Will. That is the part that had Rick almost in a full blown panic attack. _I can't let this happen, can I? Is Will better for her?_ He always thought that he could let her go if she was happy. But she didn't seem too happy. There was an internal argument going on in her head.

The other part made sense as to why it was troubling her now. Will did not want to have children and Kate did. She didn't have to say that she did, it was evident in the way she talked about her nieces and nephews, in the way she held Ethan. There had to be a tug of war with her hormones when it came to holding the newborn.

Castle looked down at the sweet baby. What is it about newborns that make them so irresistible? They smell great; how or why that is, Castle didn't know, but it was a fact. It's the hope of a new life. Castle was almost disgusted with himself for thinking that the timing of this babysitting job was rather fortuitous, for him anyway.

Rick tucked the piece of paper back into the couch cushions. She would be mortified if she knew that he had read it. Ethan started to stir and looking at his watch, Rick knew that it was feeding time. He stood and walked to the door of Kate's room. She was curled up in a fetal position herself on top of the comforter. He closed the door completely so they wouldn't disturb her. Walking to the kitchen, Ethan started to wail. Rick opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of breast milk, running the tap the whole time so it could get hot. He went to grab a mug to heat up the bottle and an arm came around him to get the mug instead.

"Here, let me help with that." Her voice was slightly husky from sleeping. Immediately he felt a flutter in his stomach. In that hour of time, things had changed dramatically. He had been mulling over how long ago the proposal had been. _Less than a week_, he thought. Some time in the past week Kate seemed preoccupied more often than not. And she didn't have any big cases right now. She was going to have to make a decision soon. Sorenson would not wait forever.

Kate took the bottle and put it in the mug of hot water. "Thanks for letting me sleep. I really needed that."

"I didn't mean for you to wake up. I shut the door in hopes of keeping the noise down."

"I figured, but I heard him cry. Couldn't help it." She smiled.

"Here," Castle said holding Ethan out towards her. "Do you mind taking him? I have to pee."

"Yeah, sure." She took the baby and cradled him to her chest, nuzzling the top of his head with her nose. "You smell so good." She cooed.

Rick smiled and turned to the hallway. After the bathroom, Rick turned the corner into Kate's bedroom. Making a cursory glance around the room, he quickly spotted what he was looking for. There was a white box next to the lamp on her bedside table. He took a peek. It was simple, elegant. He was impressed. He thought that was probably something she liked. He put it back and headed for the living room.

"Hey, can you take another bag of breast milk out of the freezer and put it in the fridge to thaw?" Castle nodded; while he was in there he also washed the bottles and put them in a big pot filled with water to sterilize them.

Later that afternoon, while Kate was giving Ethan another bottle, the doorbell rang. Castle opened the door and on the other side was Avery, Kate's sister with a small suitcase in her hand. From what he could tell, all of the Beckett sisters were attractive. Avery was the shortest of the bunch standing at five feet four inches. She had petite but muscular frame and long, straight brown hair and brown eyes. Maggie was a couple of inches taller than Avery, but not as tall as Kate. Maggie had auburn hair and hazel eyes. Rick had only met them once before at the hospital when Kate had surgery. Avery didn't look much better today than she did that day.

"Hi, Avery. Everything ok?" Rick leaned over a took the suitcase from her.

"Mr. Castle," she said with a tired smile. "What a surprise to see you here."

"Yeah, well, couldn't resist seeing Kate with a baby. She's feeding him in the living room."

Avery walked in and found Kate sitting cross-legged on the couch feeding Ethan. "It looks good on ya, Sis."

Kate rolled her eyes. "So how is Emma? Were you in the surgery with her? I've tried to call, but I can't get an answer."

Avery sighed and the exhaustion and sadness entered her face again.

"Oh, God. What?" Kate asked. "What happened?" She was thinking the worst. _Oh please please please don't let anything else happen to this family._

"I was in the surgery with her. Dr. Roberts performed the surgery, but I assisted. We just thought it was going to be routine. I was watching everything on the scope. There wasn't even supposed to be any incision." Avery stared off into space as she recounted the day's events to Kate and Castle. "I could see from the scope that there was a piece of placenta that didn't dislodge. That was what was causing the bleeding. Heidi was using a curette to scrape it off…and all of the sudden she was hemorrhaging. There was so much blood, Kate, I was sliding in it."

Kate and Rick looked white. Rick sat down next to Kate and took Ethan to burp him.

Avery continued. "We didn't have any choice. We had to open her up. Even then we couldn't stop the bleeding. We were pumping blood into her as fast as we could, but I think she was losing it faster. All Heidi had to do was look at me and I ran out the door. I told Jorge that we needed to do a hysterectomy immediately. That she was bleeding and that was the only way to stop it. He said, 'Do whatever you have to do to save her. I trust you, Avery.' So I went back in and helped Heidi with the procedure. It was everything I could do not to think of the fact that Emma wanted one more baby to be close to Ethan. I just had to remember that I wanted to have my friend for the next fifty years."

All three of them had tears in their eyes. "How is Emma now?" Rick asked. He didn't even know her, but he knew her son, and he wanted Ethan's mother to be okay.

"She's in ICU. They are keeping her heavily sedated for the next 24 hours. Her condition is serious. She lost so much blood that she coded on the table. We got her back of course, but who knows?"

When Avery mentioned that Emma coded on the table, Rick looked at Kate and could almost physically see the walls going up. It was too close to her. This was her way of coping.

"Which brings me to why I'm here. Jorge asked if you could keep Ethan until noon tomorrow. Emma's parents are coming from Tennessee, but they're driving and it will take a while for them to get here. If you can't, I'll take him home with me. I don't want to impose Kate."

"No, it's no problem." Kate answered. "We'll be fine."

"Are you staying?" Avery asked Castle.

"As long as she'll let me."

Avery watched Castle looking at Kate with concern. "I brought a suitcase from their house. It has more clothing and bottles and…formula."

Kate met her eyes with a question. _Formula?_

"Jorge said that you didn't have enough breast milk to last that long. What I would do is start mixing the milk and the formula. Start with 3:1 ratio and go from there."

Kate nodded. She didn't trust the lump in her throat enough to speak.

"You okay Kate?" Avery asked. Kate shook her head slightly.

"I'm fine. My friend isn't." She raised her voice. Kate stood and paced the room. Rick and Avery could hear the anger. "My friend who had to bury her six year old son two years ago. Whose husband had to go through a vasectomy reversal, so they could have another baby? Then she had a miscarriage, because apparently she hadn't suffered enough." Kate's voice was almost in hysterics. "And now…she almost _dies?_ No, wait, she did die. On the table. And she lost the ability to have anymore children. And you are asking me if _I'm okay_? _I'm fine_! I have stupid little decisions to make, like whether or not I'll accept a marriage proposal from a man I don't love."

Avery looked down at the floor. She knew about Will's proposal and how he felt about children. She also knew how Kate felt about Richard Castle. Castle didn't have to fake a look of surprise. Her outburst had already triggered one. He had never seen her like this before.

Rick stood with Ethan. "I think I'll take this little guy in the other room for a diaper change."

Avery focused on Kate. "Are you finished?"

Kate nodded, her eyes wide. How could she let that slip in front of Castle?

"Are you sure you want to keep Ethan tonight?"

Kate nodded again.

Avery moved closer to Kate. "Let Castle stay with you." She whispered. "He seems to know what he's doing, and you don't need to be alone."

Normally Kate would have been offended by the suggestion that she needed any help, but today she could only give her assent.

Avery gave her sister a hug. "It'll be okay. I love you. Call me if you need anything."

"Love you too." Kate replied.

Avery left and Kate stared out the window, trying to wrap her brain around what just happened.

Suddenly, she felt Castle's hands on her arms. She could feel the warmth of him behind her. Kate turned and looked at him.

"I can't do this." She said. Kate turned and walked out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, I know this is coming a lot slower than Perspective, but this one is harder for me to write on many levels. BTW, the 'maneuver' at the end of this chapter actually worked with my children…not making it up. You won't hear from me for a while. I'm going on vacation for a week, and I'm not sure I'll have access to a computer (won't matter really, because I won't have my story with me). Just wanted you to know that the story isn't finished and I'm not abandoning it. **

**Ch. 5**

Castle stood there at the window for a few minutes after Kate walked out. He tried to figure it out, _can't do what_? He was wracking his brain. Was it something he said or did? Did she mean that she can't take care of Ethan anymore? Well, one way to find out. Rick took a deep breath and headed for the kitchen where he could hear her rattling around.

Kate had taken every pot and pan out of the cabinet next to the stove and was reorganizing the cabinet, although Rick was pretty sure it wasn't out of order when she started. Rick found a clear spot and sat down on the floor so he could look at her eye to eye. "Need any help?" he asked.

She set her mouth in a line and glared at him.

"Okay, no help. How 'bout we talk about it?"

She looked away. "Haven't I said enough?"

"You're talking about the slip? The proposal? Kate I wasn't that surprised." She looked up at him in shock. He recovered. "You've been very preoccupied the last several days. I knew something was up." _Buy it. Please, buy it._

She knit her eyebrows together and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Castle wished she would stop; he found that extremely irresistible. Kate didn't know what to think. Castle suspected something was up. And still he made no move to show her he had any feelings for her. Really that wasn't fair of her. She had been sending him those signals: _Don't touch me, I'm taken, You lost your chance. _But underneath it all, she wanted him to _fight _for her. Damn him.

"UGH!" Kate huffed and started throwing the pots and pans back in the cabinet haphazardly.

"Kate! What are you doing?"

"I can't do this either." She slammed the cabinet door.

"I'm clueless."

"Obviously." She stood to leave, but he stood up just as she took a step and he was right in front of her. "Out of my way, Castle."

"No." And just to make sure she didn't sidestep him he put his hands on her arms. Her eyes were burning with anger.

"If you treasure your hands you'll move them." She said through gritted teeth.

"I'll take my chances." He had a daring gleam in his eye. "You are going to talk to me."

"What do you want to hear? Is what I said before not enough to be upset about? You don't have any idea how much I've been through with that family. Have you stood in a room with your best friend's child's _body_ so that no one would take him away to do an autopsy before she could see him?" She was breathing hard and tears were coming to her eyes.

"That's awful." Castle said softly. "But that's not what has you so upset right now. There's something else."

"I don't know what to do."

"Kate, is this about the proposal?"

"Castle, you are the last person on the planet that I want to talk to about this." _Oh. In so many ways. _Things were flying out of her mouth right now, personal things that she would not normally share; she couldn't seem to stop them. The thought that she might accidentally spill how she felt about him paralyzed her.

"Do you want me to leave?" _Please say 'no.' _"Do you want Lanie to come over?"

She shook her head. "As much as I would like to talk to Lanie right now, she would be absolutely no help with the baby. And, besides, she's on a date."

Rick let go of her arms, but he wasn't letting her off the hook. "Talk it out with me. What do you mean 'you don't know what to do'?"

She turned around when she said it; she didn't want her face to give anything away. "I can't marry him." She sounded deflated.

"Of course you can't." Castle surprised himself by saying that. She whipped around to him with a look on her face. "Look Kate, you can't marry someone you don't love. It's hard enough with someone you do love. And being the 'one and done' girl that you are, you would stick it out and stay in that marriage forever." Here is where he covered for himself. "You might argue that you're staying together for the kids, but that isn't a good enough reason either. You deserve more. Someone who will love you and you will love back. And as much as I don't like the guy, he is a decent man, and he deserves more too."

She nodded. Kate turned her back on him and looked up demanding that the tears stay where they were. She wouldn't cry in front of Castle.

"He doesn't want kids." _Crap. What is wrong with my brain?_

"Well," Rick said, astonished that she gave that away, "that's the second nail in the coffin isn't it?"

"I don't know about that. Maybe I don't—"

"That's crap, Kate, and deep down you know it. I see you with Ethan, and I can see you with your own someday." She blushed. "When I said 'Carpe Diem' earlier, I didn't mean 'seize the first thing that comes along and run with it.'" Castle walked closer to her. "I meant 'seize the best that life has to offer'. Yeah, with risk comes pain and disappointment sometimes, but I bet if you ask Jorge and Emma if they would've rather not had the child at all…" That phrase did it. The tears spilled over and her shoulders drooped in defeat.

"They would say that they were glad, no _blessed_, to have him for the time they did." Kate choked the words out, knowing they were true, because those were the words they said to her just outside the morgue of the hospital, when they saw Luke for the last time.

She turned around, wiping her tears away, and he was inches from her. She put her hands on his chest to keep herself from plowing right into him. Castle didn't say anything. He just put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead. Her arms slid around him and he wrapped her in a hug.

"Thank you, Castle."

Just then Kate's phone rang. As she went to answer it, Rick said, "I'm going to order some food. Chinese okay with you?"

Kate nodded and flipped open the phone.

"Beckett."

"Hey, it's me. I was wondering if you were available tonight."

"Uh, Will, I meant to call. No, I still have Ethan."

"What? I thought they were going to pick him up this afternoon."

"There were complications during the surgery, and Emma is in intensive care. I'm watching Ethan until her parents can get here tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh. Wow. Well, there isn't anyone else who can take him?"

Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes. Castle came back into the room just in time to see her expression. Kate looked at him and put her finger over her lips. _Not one word._

"No, Will, there isn't anyone else who can take care of him."

Now it was Castle's turn to roll his eyes.

"I do need to see you though. Tomorrow night?" She said, knowing that it wouldn't be a 'date.' Kate hated this.

"Yeah sure, tomorrow night. I'll pick you up at 7."

"Great. I'll see you then."

"I love you, Kate."

"I'll see you tomorrow night." She couldn't prolong it any more. She certainly wasn't going to let him think that she loved him.

As if on cue, Ethan started to cry in the bedroom.

Kate quickly headed for the baby.

Castle headed to the kitchen to make the bottle, remembering the 3:1 ratio of breastmilk to formula Avery instructed them to try.

Kate was tense when she came back with Ethan. The recent decision she had made along with the results of Emma's surgery left her upset to say the least. And to top it off, Ethan wasn't calming down. Kate handed him off to Castle who quickly put the bottle in the baby's mouth. Heading into the living room, Rick watched Kate pace back and forth. Ethan took more than half the bottle before Rick could stop him to burp. After getting two good burps out of him, Castle attempted to give him the rest of the bottle. Ethan would take the nipple in his mouth, cringe, and push it back out with his tongue, crying even louder.

Castle tried burping him again; maybe there was more air in there. Ethan cried even harder. Just then the doorbell rang. _Food's here._ "Kate, can you try? I'll go get the food."

Kate nodded and took the wailing child. While he was content to be in the "feeding" position, cradled in the crook of her elbow, the bottle was not what he wanted. Kate had seen this before, although, she had always been in the position to get a baby back to his mother. Speaking softly to the child, she said, "This equipment doesn't work little man, if you're hungry, the bottle will have to do." Ethan continued to push the bottle out with his tongue and proceeded to get more and more upset. Kate would hold him vertically on her chest, but he continued to try to get in "nursing" position.

Castle had dropped the food in the kitchen and was quietly observing the situation, wracking his brain for a solution. He could see that Kate, who was already tense, was getting more and more upset. Then, suddenly, a memory from long ago popped into his head.

Castle grabbed Ethan's pacifier and came up behind Kate. Speaking softly, he relayed his memory. "I think I know what's going on here. You're upset and he senses that, so he wants the most comforting thing he can think of."

"Then maybe you should take him."

"Won't work, Kate, it will only frustrate him more."

"If you're about to suggest that I try _nursing_ him, you've lost all your senses and you're about to lose your life."

"No." He chuckled. "But now that you say it that would be something to see." He grinned.

She shot him a look. "Focus, Castle. This is getting out of hand."

"Okay. When Alexis was about six weeks old, Meredith had given up on breastfeeding. She wanted her body back…whatever. Anyway, one day during the weaning process, Alexis was having none of it. She wanted to nurse and that was the only thing that would make her happy. After trying many different things, one thing finally worked. Meredith unbuttoned her shirt…"

"CASTLE!" Kate hissed.

"I'm not suggesting…anyway, don't shoot me." He just decided that action was best at the moment. He dimmed the lights in the room. Castle stood directly behind Kate. He was so close that his chest was up against her back. She would have told him to "back off," but she couldn't find her voice. His hands came around and grabbed the hem of the front of her shirt and gently pulled down until the "V" of the shirt was even with her bra. Ethan, who was still being held upright, slid down with the shirt and stopped screaming.

"Castle, what are you…?"

His arms came up and maneuvered the child into the nursing position gently sliding the pacifier into his mouth. Ethan was completely fooled. His eyes closed and he sucked away on the pacifier, none the wiser.

Castle backed off and waited for her wrath. She turned around, her eyes wide. Ethan was basically asleep, his little hand outstretched on the bare skin above her shirt. "How did you…?"

Castle grinned again. "He just wanted what every man wants…"

"Shut up, Castle. I'm not going to let you pollute this into something nasty."

"Your sister was right, Detective, it does look good on you." He was serious when he said it.

She shook her head almost unnoticeably and stared at the tiny creature, whose breathing was ragged every thirty seconds from being so upset. She blushed at Castle's comment, but her heart melted looking at Ethan. She couldn't deny that this was something she wanted in her future. She took a deep breath and was hit with another feeling she couldn't resist. Kate looked up and Castle was inches from her. She looked in his eyes.

"Did you say there was food?" she asked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Change of plans and leaving a day later, so one more chapter to post. This chapter has some good news, a little UST and a lot of baby. Ch 7 is almost written and I think you'll like it. I am emailing it to myself, just in case I have the opportunity to work on it. Thanks for all of the reviews!**

**Ch. 6**

After the agonizing crying episode, and some really great Chinese food, things settled down in the apartment. They kept the lights low the entire evening. Ethan actually hit an "awake" stage after his next bottle. Castle was holding Ethan and talking to him. The baby responded with all sorts of cooing noises and jerky movements.

Kate had finally had enough. She couldn't get into the "action" of the baby without pressing herself up against Castle, and she was pretty sure that if she got that close she wouldn't be able to hide her feelings. She said "My turn," and held out her arms.

"What? You're jealous?"

"Actually, yes. But I'm going to be nicer than you. Hand him over and follow me."

Castle did as he was told, more out of curiosity than fear.

Kate carried Ethan into her bedroom, and laid him on the bed. Then she lay down on one side of him, close enough to see him and touch him, but not so close that he rolled to her. Castle did the same on the opposite side.

"See? Isn't this better?"

"Well, this is good, Kate. And I'm always looking for a reason to get in bed with you." Kate rolled her eyes. "But I think that your behavior is a little unfair."

"How so?"

"Well, I was completely jealous earlier when you were able to calm Ethan down by holding him so close, but I didn't try to 'butt in.'"

Kate blushed, but at the same time she quipped, "There's a difference Castle. I was jealous of you. You were jealous of Ethan." Castle smirked.

It was actually a very sweet moment for all three of them; she was amazed that Castle had logged that into his memory about how to calm a baby. She would have to remember that little "trick" for later. She held Ethan in that "nursing" position for an hour and a half. She could have put him down, but she loved the feeling of having him sleep so close to her.

There was a moment when it felt awkward though. And even though she couldn't put her finger on it, Castle could. It was after they were through eating, Castle was cleaning up and Kate was leaning against a barstool holding Ethan. The one hand that had been lying on her chest moved down and grabbed hold of the edge of her t-shirt and bra. She knew it was instinct for him, that gripping reflex. But the movement plus just the smell of the baby seemed to reach down deep into her and tug. She didn't think it was something so cliché as a "biological clock ticking." She wasn't that old and had plenty of time. She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice Castle come right up beside her. He had seen the whole sequence of events.

"It's just hormones. Don't worry about it." He whispered.

"How did you know?"

"You looked flushed all of the sudden and then embarrassed. But you shouldn't be. It's completely natural." Castle looked down at Ethan, so close to Kate and fused to the pacifier in his mouth, and he felt his own heart race. He brushed his nose in her hair and took a deep breath in, before he walked to the couch in the living room and turned on the TV.

Kate blushed at the memory and looked across the bed at Castle, still enamored with the baby boy in their charge. Of course, the phone rang at that very moment, breaking her reverie.

"You stay here," Castle said, "I'll get it."

It took her a few seconds before she realized that it might be a bad idea. It could be Will. She wasn't _hiding_ Castle from Will, but with what she knew was going to go down tomorrow night; she didn't want Will to think that it was because of Castle. It was partly due to him, but Will didn't have to know that. She listened tensely to the formalities taking place on the phone in the other room. She relaxed as soon as she realized who it was: Jorge.

"Beckett residence." Castle stated in his best phone butler voice.

"Uh, hi. This is Jorge."

"Jorge! Hello. This is Richard Castle. I'm a…a friend of Kate's. I'm just here helping out with Ethan."

"I know. Avery called me earlier and let me know that Kate had assistance."

"How is Emma?"

"She's doing better. Still unconscious, but her vitals are improving. If things keep going this well, they'll let her wake up in the morning."

"That's good news. Here, let me get the phone to Kate. I know she wants to talk to you."

"Okay. And thank you Mr. Castle, for your help with Ethan. By the way, Emma and I are both fans and can't believe you're using Kate as your inspiration. We think it's great."

"Thanks. And please, it's Rick."

Castle handed the phone over to Kate, who was wearing an expression on her face he couldn't quite place. He resumed his place on the bed, staring at the tiny infant.

"Jorge, hello." Kate said with a smile. "I gather from Castle's side of the conversation that Emma is doing better."

"She is. They are giving her one more transfusion now, but they think this is the last. Her blood pressure is steady and they extubated her a few hours ago. If everything continues on this path, they'll let her wake up in the morning."

"That's great news. How many units of blood has she had?"

"My understanding is that she went through eight units during the surgery and she's had another five since she's been in ICU. The bleeding has slowed considerably at the incision site so they think this will be her last one."

Kate's head spun at that news. She remembered Avery's words _Kate, I was sliding in it._ Thirteen units of blood. That's almost all that her body could hold, maybe it was all she could hold. At barely five feet tall and 100 pounds (pre-Ethan), Emma was one of the most petite women she knew.

"I'm so glad she's doing better."

"I guess Avery told you about the hysterectomy."

"She did. Jorge I'm so sorry."

"We have Emma. And Ethan. I'm sure we made the decision that Emma wanted us to make."

"I'm sure you did," Kate smiled, "I'm looking right at your little guy. He's doing fantastic."

"That's great. You're using the formula? That's going okay?"

"Avery has us mixing it with breastmilk so the taste won't be completely off. Are they saying that Emma can go right back to nursing?"

"Actually the nurses had to pump her twice after the surgery. But the production is slowing down. Of course with all of the drugs in her system right now it will be a while before she can nurse Ethan. But Avery said if we really want to go back to it, and I think Emma will, then we can get it back."

"That's good."

"I'll let you go. I want to get back in there with Emma."

"Okay. I love you guys."

"We love you too, Kate. Thanks so much for watching Ethan."

"No problem at all, Jorge."

Kate hung up the phone and looked at the bed in front of her. Ethan was still looking around wide-eyed. Castle had fallen asleep on the other side of him. Kate just looked at him for a minute. She never had the chance to just look. He was way too perceptive of when someone was staring at him. In fact, it wouldn't surprise her at all if he opened his eyes now under her scrutiny. She loved his lips. Her eyes were always drawn to lips, especially if people were talking. She never looked at Castle's though, always his eyes, especially if he was talking to her. His lips were too distracting. She remembered that kiss everyday. She wanted more of that.

Suddenly she noticed that Ethan had fallen asleep too. He was making little movements with his mouth again, like he was sucking on his own tongue. Kate lightly put her hand on his belly and closed her eyes.

She startled awake, panicking that something had happened to the baby. Looking over at the clock, she was stunned to see she slept for two hours. It was midnight. She didn't mean to fall asleep with the baby on the bed. She looked over at him and realized what woke her. He was awake; her hand still on him and she could tell he was hungry.

Ethan yawned and then started to fuss. Kate picked him up before he could disturb Rick, who had since turned onto his back and was snoring lightly, and took him to the other room, closing the door behind her. It was becoming second nature, the fixing of the bottle, feeding and burping. Kate knew she would miss it when he was gone.

Grabbing the remote to one of her favorite investments, Kate cued the iPod in the SoundDock. She had the volume low, so as to not disturb the man in the other room, but she couldn't help singing to the baby in her arms. Every once in a while she put her nose to the top of Ethan's head and inhaled. _Has to be the best, most relaxing scent in the world. How can that be?_

Castle woke up and for a moment couldn't remember where he was. It had happened before in his past, wilder years, but he was usually naked. Now he was fully clothed. _Where am I?_ He looked around the room and spotted the bassinet next to the bed and the white box on the bedside table…it all came back to him. He could hear music coming from the other room and…was Kate singing?

Rick opened the bedroom door and stopped in the darkened hallway watching Kate as she crooned to the baby. She was singing a song he had never heard before.

"You would not believe your eyes

If ten million fireflies

Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they fill the open air,

And leave teardrops everywhere

You'd think me rude, but I would just stop and… stare.

"I'd like to make myself believe

That planet Earth turns slowly

It's hard to say I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

'Cause everything is never as it seems."

Rick was mesmerized by her voice. He didn't know she could sing. The song she was singing, whatever it was, was a perfect lullaby for Ethan. Kate Beckett had surprised him yet again. She was finishing up the song and Ethan was asleep.

"I'd like to make myself believe

That planet Earth turns slowly

It's hard to say I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

Because my dreams are bursting at the seams."

She kissed the top of his head, "Good night little one." Kate turned to take him to the bedroom and saw Rick standing there, watching her. She walked right by him and into the bedroom, laying Ethan down in the crib. When she came back out, she eyed him warily.

"How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough to know you can sing."

A/N: The song is "Fireflies" by Owl City.


	7. Chapter 7

**So I'm back from vacation and I've worked this out many different ways. I think most of you will like this one. It's long because I've been away so this is your souvenir. Warning: there is heat at the end of this one (and I'm not talking about Nikki). I need to know quickly if this is okay for a T rating. I think so, but I need confirmation. Let me know what you think. Maybe two more chapters after this one and maybe even another sequel. **

"_How long were you standing there?"_

"_Long enough to know you can sing."_

**Ch.7**

"That's between you and me, Castle. They'd never let me live it down at the precinct." Kate walked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of red wine from the small wine rack. Glancing over her shoulder at him she said, "Want a glass? It's nothing fancy, but I like it."

"Sure. Thanks." Looking over her shoulder Castle could see that it was an Australian Shiraz, inexpensive but decent. He knew, of course, that she could have offered him kerosene and he would have tried it for her. But he thought it in his best interest to keep that to himself.

They took the wine and headed for the living room. Kate sat at one end of the couch and folded her legs under her. Rick sat at the other end. "How long have you been singing?"

"As long as I can remember. I sang in the children's choirs at church. I did some children's theater musicals growing up. Chorus and select chorus in high school and more productions. Not so much in college. And then after my mom, well," she shook her head. "My old chorus director is now the choir director at Avery's church. Small world, huh? Anyway, she ropes me in to sing solos during Christmas and Easter and every once in a while she needs a sub for the contemporary worship. If I'm available, I'll go."

"Didn't peg you for a church-goer."

"I'm not. God and I had a falling out. She guilts me into it." _Why is she telling him all of this? Will doesn't even know this stuff._

"A falling out. Because of your mom?"

Kate nodded and took a sip of wine. "My mom, Jacob, Luke."

He left Jacob alone for now. "How did you meet Emma and Jorge?"

"Jacob used to work with them. All brilliant scientists with PhDs." She had a sad look on her face again.

Okay, he keeps coming up, he had to ask: "Jacob. Avery's husband? What's the story there?"

"You're going to think my family's cursed." She chuckled. "Jacob died from a brain tumor three years ago. Lily was one. Avery was devastated. The girls were the only thing that kept her going. He was diagnosed late December and he passed away by Easter."

"That's awful. How does she do it?" What little Castle knew about Avery, he liked. He met her two months ago at the hospital while Kate was in surgery. She knew who he was and their dad told her Castle was with Kate at her arrival to the hospital. Avery sat next to Rick and prodded for the whole story. He gave her everything (minus the kiss) and she kept telling him that he did the right thing and that Katie (that's what Avery called her) was a fighter. She would be okay.

"Avery has a faith that could 'move mountains' so they say. I know that in the beginning she wanted to die. But her church surrounded her, and she went to therapy, took some antidepressants for a while. The girls went to therapy. She'll tell you herself that bringing new life into the world will heal so many wounds."

"Did she deliver Maggie's babies?"

"She didn't want to. Maggie has a mean streak. Avery didn't want to be on the business end of that. But Maggie persuaded her. Justin, Maggie's husband, took the brunt of her ire."

"How did it go? Were you there?"

"Believe it or not, I was there for all six deliveries. I was eighteen when Johanna was born. My mom was still with us then, so that is my happiest delivery memory. Avery never had any pain medication, so it was tough to watch, but beautiful too. I had to hold her legs back for the deliveries. Actually, Johanna was in trouble. She came really fast and didn't take it well. Her heart rate was dropping so the doctor was using a vacuum thingy to help her out. He laid Avery flat on the bed and told Jacob and I to push Avery's knees to her shoulders. I remember pushing and trying not to hurt her. Avery looked at me and said, 'Push harder Katie. Don't worry about me. Do it for your niece.' That day she became my hero." Kate smiled at the memory. "After Johanna was out and Avery was all stitched up…" Rick winced. "Avery let me hold her. Then she said, 'One time without a condom, Katie. That's all it took. Don't let it happen to you.'" Kate laughed a throaty laugh and Rick laughed with her.

"Think I can get Avery to scare the crap out of Alexis like that?"

"Maybe. My mom was videotaping the birth, so I have a copy. Nothing graphic mind you, but you still get the picture. It's pretty scary. Especially since she didn't have an epidural."

"And Maggie?" Rick asked. He had met Maggie too. She was a fiery red head with pale skin and freckles. After he told the story at the hospital that day the only thing he can remember Maggie saying was, 'How's that for irony? You survive getting shot and it's the bump on the head that you got takes you out.' He thought Avery was going to smack her.

"Maggie had pain medication with all of hers, and thank goodness. She was a bitch during labor. I can't imagine what she would have been like without it. With Jonathan she only had this thing that numbed the cervix. So she was fine until delivery. When Jonathan crowned…" Kate shook her head. "I think there might be places in Australia that didn't hear her. Beckett was the toughest for all of us though; Avery delivered him four months after Jacob…that was..." Kate stood and moved to the shelf with the pictures. She grabbed six different frames and sat next to Rick on the couch. She held one out to him. He had seen this one before.

"Johanna." Then the next. A slightly older Kate, still teary-eyed, but with an underlying pain, holding a baby with a blue hat. A small school photo in the corner of a boy with brown hair and Maggie's eyes. "Jonathan." Another picture. Rick cherished this moment with Kate and he knew it would never end up in a book. _These are her prized possessions._ Kate's hair was tightly braided down the back of her head and she was wearing a NYPD t-shirt. The cap was pink in this one and the school photo showed an auburn headed girl with Kate's face, but her father's eyes. "Kate." The next cap was blue and Kate's hair was loose around her face and quite long. The young boy in the corner photo was missing teeth. He had bright red hair and dark brown eyes. "Austin." A pink cap was next with a small photo of a beautiful little girl. Avery's girl. She had dirty blond curly hair with sparkly hazel eyes. "Lily." The last photo. The Kate he knew. Her hair was short and her eyes were sad. She was smiling at the baby with the blue cap. There wasn't a school photo in the corner. He was too young. "Beckett. He has red hair like Austin, but the bluest eyes, like Justin."

Rick asked the question that popped in his head, "Would you let her deliver yours?" He turned his head, and she looked at him. They were so close their noses were almost touching. Kate blushed and took another sip of wine.

"I don't know. I think I would. Avery is amazing at what she does. She puts everyone at ease. She doesn't let you get away with crap though. I'd like to say I could do it like she did, without pain medication, but I'm not going to hold to it.

So what about you? Alexis' birth? Everybody has a story." Kate threw his words back at him.

"C-section. The thought of a natural delivery scared Meredith to death. She begged her doctor for a planned C-section, and she got it. I was there, sitting at her head, behind the curtain. I went with Alexis to the nursery while they stitched Meredith up. Not the same kind of story. Alexis and I did get to bond though. I had to get up every night. Meredith couldn't lift her for like a week." He sounded disappointed.

"So not the way you would have liked?" she asked.

"You know, there's the romantic way…mom goes into labor or her water breaks, 'honey, it's time.' The breathing. Cutting the cord. But in the end what's important is a healthy baby and mom."

"Right." Her thoughts drifted to Emma. Kate swallowed the last of her wine and stood. "I think I'm going to take a shower and try to get some sleep before he wakes up again. I'll see you in a little bit."

"Okay." Rick stood and grabbed the glasses to take them to the kitchen. Kate stopped in the doorway with her back to him.

"Rick?" He froze. She hardly ever called him that when she was serious. "Thanks for staying." And she walked into the bathroom.

Rick sat on the couch and watched TV for an hour while Kate showered and went to bed. He didn't want to think about her in the shower or what she slept in. It was becoming everything he could do not to touch her. Part of him thought that coming over to help with Ethan was the worst idea he ever had, but a larger part of him was humming with her proximity and the walls crumbling down. He had a feeling that she still wanted him, but he needed to make sure she was ready. Everything that was going on with Will and Emma, her defenses were down. He could not take advantage of that.

He thought he heard something in the bedroom and he opened the door to check on Ethan (and Kate). He could see her in the dim light. She slept on her side, looking so peaceful. It was difficult to think of all of the losses in her life. He was amazed at the way she held it all together and it made him feel even guiltier that he added pain to her life, by not respecting her wishes and her privacy and betraying her trust. He resolved then and there not to add any more pain to her life.

Looking over at Ethan, Rick could see what he heard. Ethan was awake and had what was properly dubbed as a "blow-out diaper." _Great._ He picked up the soggy infant, and took him to the other room. Grabbing the diaper bag and moving to the ottoman, Rick changed the diaper using eight baby wipes. He was tempted to bathe the boy, but he wasn't sure about how to go about it, and he was pretty sure he would need more hands. It surprised him that Kate didn't wake up; Ethan howled pretty good when Rick swabbed his back off with a cold wipe. Tying everything up in a little bag and picking up the freshly changed (diaper and clothing) child, Rick headed for the kitchen. Ethan seemed to be on a two-and-a-half to three hour schedule.

The feeding was relatively uneventful until the last burping session. With the very last burp came a large amount of spit-up all over Rick's shirt and Ethan's romper. Rick mopped what he could up with a burp cloth, but quickly realized that he and Ethan were going to need a change. Rick laid Ethan down on the ottoman while he unbuttoned his shirt. Tossing the shirt on the floor in the bathroom, he said to himself and Ethan, "She gave me a toothbrush; maybe she'll let me borrow a shirt." _Hopefully not one of Sorenson's._

The only other item of clothing he could find in the diaper bag was an undershirt for Ethan, and since he wasn't willing to go into the room and disturb Kate to look through the suitcase, Rick changed him into that. Picking him up once more, he cradled the newborn to his bare chest and swayed around the room with him. Thirty minutes later Ethan was sound asleep. Castle heard her bedroom door open.

"Castle, why are you half-naked?"

Kate woke up, and looked at the clock. It was five after three in the morning. She turned on the bedside lamp, briefly noticing the white box as the light hit it. Looking in the bassinet, she knew Castle had Ethan. The baby's bed was a mess, so she stripped the sheet and the waterproof pad, and grabbed another set out of the suitcase. Kate made quick work of the tiny bed and went across the hall to put the dirty linens in the hamper. When she went in the bathroom, she noticed Castle's shirt on the floor. Picking it up she couldn't help but notice that it was wet and reeked of spit-up. Tossing everything in the hamper, Kate washed her hands and brushed her teeth. Then she headed to the living room.

"Castle, why are you half-naked?"

He looked at her, surprised. "Spit-up happens. I was going to go in and ask you for a shirt, but I didn't want to disturb you." He took her in, standing there in a tank top and knit shorts. She looked incredible, but then again he always thought she looked incredible.

Truth be told, Kate didn't mind the sight before her, either. He looked very sexy there wearing jeans without a shirt and holding the tiny baby up against his chest. It made her feel very warm all over. Rick looked over at her. "I think I'll put this little guy back to bed, and maybe I can get a shirt?"

"I'll think about it. I changed his sheets by the way. So the bed is ready for him."

"Sweet." Castle said softly. As he walked by Kate with Ethan, she stopped him, leaned in and kissed the baby's soft head. Her hair brushed his skin and his breath hitched in his throat. She turned away and he went straight to the bedroom. _She is going to kill me._ He laid Ethan in the bed and took a deep breath. He didn't know if she was going to follow him in, but now he figured she wasn't. Rick headed back to the living room. Kate was looking out the window into the night.

What is it about the night that makes everything feel so intimate? Is it because we can't see or hear the other people around us, the people outside of our lives? Is it that sense of aloneness that causes us to drop our guard and let others in? To drop our inhibitions? To make a leap based on love and desire instead of listening to the mind? Are we giving our nightmares a foothold or are we giving flight to our dreams?

Rick stood behind her, frozen. He wanted to touch her, but he couldn't. She knew he was standing there; she could see his reflection in the window. The room was dimly lit, but it was still lit.

Kate felt so close to him earlier. God knows why she was sharing all of this with him, but he never made fun, and he listened like she was telling the most fascinating story. When she was sitting next to him on the couch earlier, she wanted to kiss him. Later, in the shower, she berated herself for not taking the chance. Kate told herself then that if she had the chance again, she would take it.

She turned to face him, but she didn't look him in the eye. She put her hands on his stomach and she felt him tremble. She wanted to see his face, his expression, but she kept her eyes on her hands. She leaned into him and pressed her nose into his chest. She inhaled his scent that was also mixed with the irresistible baby smell. She brushed her lips over his chest just under the collarbone. He gasped and her lips turned up just the slightest bit. She placed another kiss where the collarbone met the neck. He let out a soft groan and his hand came up to her head.

Kate slid her left hand up to his neck, the right sliding around his side, bringing her closer to him. She still couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. She kissed her way up the side of his neck. Kate could hear his breathing quicken in her ear, and she could feel his heart beat hammer away in his pulse. As she kissed the edge of his jaw, her nose nuzzled his ear. She heard him breathing in her ear and then he had her earlobe in his mouth. It was her turn to moan.

His hand wrapped around the back of her neck and the other was on her hip. His thumb slid under the tank she was wearing and brushed the warm skin it found there. He kissed down her jaw line and paused right before he kissed her lips. He had to see her eyes. Green met blue and he saw passion in her eyes and maybe even love, but no hesitation. He kissed her, trying to hold back. To give her a chance to rethink this. She would have none of that. She opened her mouth and deepened the kiss, with a deep rumble he responded. His hand slid up underneath the back of the tank igniting a trail across her skin.

Kate wasn't thinking—it was pure emotional response. She loved _this_ man, and everything about the moment felt right. Kissing him was like finally coming home. She was content and yet, there was a burning deep inside of her for more. She had to remember to breathe. Every movement of his tongue against her sent a current swirling through her. It seemed to be a mutual feeling. Just as she wrapped both of her arms around his neck, Rick bent down and hoisted her up by the backs of her thighs, all without breaking the kiss. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bedroom.

Rick laid her down on the bed. Again, his brain was in conflict; Kate seemed to be confident in this decision, but she has had a really bad day and her hormones are playing mind games with her. He knew that she loved him, but she didn't know he knew. What if later she thinks he just took advantage? He loved her too, though now wasn't the time to say it, and God, he wanted her right now, but not if it were only for now. He swore to himself that he wouldn't cause her any more pain. He just needed a sign of what path he should take. Rick was driving her crazy at the moment and he knew it. He had pushed up her shirt to expose her stomach and was taking his time kissing every inch of it.

Kate groaned in frustration and with a surprise move flipped him over on his back. "Kate!" Now he was in trouble. She was in control and he couldn't resist her. She kissed him again and his hands found the bare patch of skin between the back of the tank and the top of the shorts. Her mouth left his and found his shoulder, kissing her way down to his chest. His hand slid under the shorts and she groaned. Coming to his senses once more, he moved his hand to the safety zone of her back.

That was it; she couldn't take it anymore. Why was he so hesitant? "What! What is it! Is this how you play? Or do you just not want me?" She had momentarily forgotten about the infant sleeping in the room. Castle put his fingers to her lips to try to remind her, but he was too late. Ethan let out a startled cry that proceeded to a full blown wail.

"Dammit!" Kate cursed.

"I'll get him." Castle said calmly.

"No. I'll get him. You might just go over to the crib and let him think you're going to get him out, when actually you're just going to listen to him cry."

She was angry. Not the reaction he was going for. Castle followed her out to the living room and watched as Kate and Ethan calmed each other down. She would still glare at Rick, but she was able to settle Ethan down and get him back to sleep. Kate went back into the bedroom to lay him down. When she didn't return Castle followed her in the room. Kate was lying in the bed, under the covers, on her side facing the baby bed.

Rick went around to the other side, stripped down to his boxers, and slid in next to her against his better judgment.

"Castle!" Kate hissed. "Leave me alone."

"I don't think so." He whispered. "I have to explain."

"I understand clearly," she murmured back.

"I don't think you do. You know that I want you Kate. I know you could feel how I respond to you. I think you know how I feel about you." Rick moved closer to her wrapping his arm around her and pulling her back to his chest. She trembled.

"Stop being a tease."

"That is the last thing I am and you know it." Castle murmured in her ear. "I want this more than you know, but I don't want either of us to have regrets." His hand slid under the tank and caressed her stomach.

"Regrets? You think you might have regrets?" Her voice had an edge to it, but her hand slid behind her and found his leg. She ran her fingertips along his leg until they met fabric. It was his turn to tremble.

"I would if you did." With his last declaration, his voice changed from sensual to serious. She edged away from him and rolled onto her back. She could see his face in the palest blue glow from the sliver of moonlight that happened to find her window between the buildings. His hand now rested on her side still under her shirt, but no longer caressing.

Kate brought her fingers to his face and they drifted from his bangs along his eyebrow down the bridge of his nose, slowing as they fluttered over his lips. She rested her hand on his neck and caught his eyes. Castle always pretended to be this shallow ladies man, okay sometimes he really _was_ a shallow ladies man, but she knew the different side. The side that really cared about her, that saved her life, what was it…three times…two months ago. The side that had tears in his eyes when he heard her friend almost died in surgery. The side that wanted to see her happy, in love, with children of her own someday. The flame within her roared to life again.

She pushed him onto his back and threw her body on top of his. She kissed him with everything she had and he matched her passion easily. She sat up, straddling him and pulled her tank top over her head. She lowered her head to look in his eyes and said, "I won't."


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay folks. It's been a nasty week so far. This was also the hardest chapter. It's a little gooey, and I don't do gooey so don't get used to it. As Josephine March used to say, "I rather crave violence." I need the conflict—the angst. Hope you like it. If you catch any grammatical errors, let me know and I'll fix them. Have at it people. **

**Ch. 8**

It wasn't fair, really. Here he was thinking that somehow he should feel guilty. Didn't he just take advantage of her? But she would see that as condescending. She didn't need him to watch out for her. She wasn't some damsel in distress. And truth be told, he couldn't resist her.

The memory of events of the past hour hardly seemed real. So much so that he refused to go to sleep, if this was a dream, he didn't want to wake from it. So Castle sat there and watched her sleep their legs tangled and her face peaceful on his chest. Kate Beckett was naked in the bed with him. He couldn't believe it.

That was when he lost the battle. He wasn't sure if it was the removal of her shirt that sealed the deal or her assurance that she would have no regrets. Either way, Kate Beckett might as well have doused the mattress with gasoline and lit a match. The passion she ignited in him was unstoppable. His entire body flushed at the memory. It was like coming home, being with her. He rolled his eyes at his own pun, but in all seriousness, when he had mentioned yin and yang to Kate all those months ago, he never dreamed that they would fit together like that.

Ethan started to stir, so Rick very gently extricated himself from Kate. It was difficult, because that was where his body wanted to be. He was going to have to be careful to keep that in check; he was not ever the smothering type and he was sure she would have none of it. He just couldn't get enough of her. _What is wrong with me?_

Castle felt around for his boxers and jeans, but had no success finding the boxers. His memory replayed Kate removing them, finishing the act with her feet. They must be deep under the covers and he wasn't going after them right now. _Later._ He smiled to himself. Hopefully she would stay asleep; he was looking forward to waking her. Putting on the jeans commando style (and being _very _careful) he washed his hands in the bathroom and returned for Ethan who was still just stirring.

It was six in the morning and the light of the sun was creeping over the horizon. The morning star hadn't shown itself yet, but the room was lightening. Rick and Ethan, who was still asleep but getting hungry, made their way to the kitchen. Feeding went flawlessly without any spitting up. Rick wondered if the baby was Cupid incarnate and had orchestrated the spit up incident earlier in an effort to bring them together. _Cupid? Come on! If this is what one night of sleep deprivation does to you, then it should be illegal for new parents to operate heavy machinery._

He held the baby to his chest and swayed. He walked over to her pictures once again. He could see her all over the world with friends and family members. There was a picture of her, she couldn't have been more than seven, that he was sure was taken in France somewhere, a place he had been before. There was a walkway with those gothic arches outside. The courtyard in the foreground was amazingly green and she was wearing red, of course, which popped in the picture. She wasn't looking at the camera, just holding onto the column and reaching for the next one. _Mont St. Michel. He was almost positive._ The abbey that rested on a peninsula between Normandy and Brittany was surrounded by water daily with the tides. He would have to ask her if he was right. That was one of his favorite childhood pictures of her yet.

His eyes moved to another picture. Avery's wedding. It was the three sisters looking like they could take on the world. Avery, of course, was stunning in her wedding dress. It must have been winter because her dress had long sleeves and Kate and Maggie were wearing velvet. Kate was a teenager, obviously, but she had definitely bloomed. She was already taller than her sisters. Her dark hair was flowing past her shoulders. _Stunning, even then._

Then there was the picture of Maggie's wedding; it looked to be spring. Again they were all just incredibly beautiful, but Maggie was exquisite with her auburn hair pulled up with the veil and cascading back down over her shoulder. Kate and Avery were wearing designer navy blue sleeveless dresses. This time Kate's hair was pulled up making her look much older. _I'll bet that drove her father crazy._ He hated it when Alexis looked older than she was. In the picture, Avery was pregnant and Castle could see Jacob in the edge of the picture his hand was resting over her swollen belly. That sparked a feeling he couldn't place…_envy?_

He didn't want Avery and he didn't envy Jacob, but he wanted to be a part of this family. This family that seemed to have so much misfortune, but they were tighter than ever. That explained why Kate was so protective of her private life. But she was letting him in. He smiled. Looking down and Ethan, he noted that sleep had overtaken him again. He carried him to the bedroom and deposited him in the bassinet.

Castle looked over Kate. She was lying on her back, the bed linens pulled up under her armpits. Feeling his arousal build, Castle thought, _Time for Kate's wake up call. _He took off his jeans and slid into bed next to her. He started kissing her face and worked his way down pulling the sheet off of her slowly. She groaned and put her hand in his hair. His hand was ahead of his mouth and even though his lips left her body to say, "Good morning," his hand was working its way south.

"Good morning to you too," she said huskily. She was enjoying this more than usual. Castle was extremely attentive to her, and she wondered if he was this way with everyone. His hand found its destination and she bit her lip. He kissed her again and her hands went traveling as well. Their exploration of each other was lazy and sensual, taking the time to get to know each other. It was very different from the first encounter when things were fiery and surreal. Now the room was light and they could see each other. Last night had been all about touch; there was no eye contact—they couldn't see, and they were quiet so they wouldn't wake the baby. They were still somewhat quiet, but there was communication through their eyes and expressions.

At some point, Kate reached over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. She grabbed a condom and rolled back over to him. She looked up as if to try to remember something. Then she sat up with a gasp. She held the condom out to him.

"I didn't…earlier… Did you…. Oh my God. What is wrong with me?" She covered her face with her hands.

At first Rick didn't get it. It didn't occur to him that anything was wrong until she sat up. Then he paid attention. _A condom. Oh God. We didn't... Shit._

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. I _never_ forget that. _Ever._ Oh God, Kate. I knew it. I knew you were going to have regrets. I just never predicted this."

Kate's shoulders started to shake._ Great. She's crying. I made her cry. Dammit._ Then he heard a sound that didn't sound like crying. Kate flopped back down on the bed and laughed out loud. "This is _funny_?" He's trying not to pay attention to the fact that she's naked.

Kate shakes her head still laughing, "No. No, I don't think it's funny." She continues to laugh and Rick can't help himself, he starts to laugh too. When they finally stop laughing they are in each other's arms.

"We're stupid." Kate said. "We're stupid like teenagers."

"No. I have a teenager at home; she'd never let this happen."

Kate shook her head. "Alexis doesn't count. She's an old soul. No. We're like insane, hormonal, crazy, stupid teenagers."

"Oh. Yesss." Rick is nodding his head. He looks like he just figured out a case. "It's the _baby._"

"The baby." Kate is wearing the look, the one that tells him that his theory is the most implausible thing she's ever heard.

"You said it yourself. We're hormonal, like teenagers. That baby turned us into hormonal mush."

"That's ridiculous. I've held lots of newborn babies. I have never had the urge to 'jump someone's bones' after I've held a baby."

Suddenly Rick realized that they were still naked, and, more importantly, he still wanted her. They would just use protection from now on. He leaned down to nibble Kate's ear. "Yes, but you didn't _love_ them." She pulled her head away from his and looked him in the eye.

"You said _we._ You said _us._ So if this is about love then it's not just me. You forgot just as much as I did. Maybe you love _me._" She looked very serious, even angry. He almost bought it.

"Maybe I do." He leaned in to her and kissed her, gently at first, but it quickly escalated. He knew it was true. They were in love. Maybe even like stupid teenagers. He worshipped her and he spent the next hour and a half showing her exactly how he felt—with protection.

Right when Ethan woke up, deciding he was hungry, the phone rang. Kate made a snap decision. "You get the phone. I'll get Ethan."

Walking stark naked into the living room, Rick checked the caller ID before answering. "Good morning, Avery." He walked back to the bedroom where Kate had found her tank and shorts and was changing Ethan in his bed. Ethan was objecting loudly.

"Hey, how's it going over there? It sounds loud."

"Ethan is not crazy about the diaper change." Rick pulled back the covers on the bed looking for his boxers. "Ah hah! Found them! Hold on one second Avery."

He set the phone down and slipped his boxers on. Grabbing the phone he headed for the kitchen to make the bottle. "I'm back."

"What did you find?"

Rick was confused. "What?"

"Before you said 'Ah hah. I found them.' What did you find?"

_Lie. Lie fast._ "The baby wipes. I found the wipes. Kate needed them."

"Oh. Well, anyway, Johanna and I are on our way over to make you guys breakfast."

"You are? That's so sweet."

"Yeah well, I figured that last night couldn't have been easy, so the least I can do since I'm not taking care of any of the children is make someone breakfast. And since its Saturday, Justin is making chocolate chip pancakes at their house, so they don't need me. Johanna is coming to see Ethan."

"Great. I just realized I'm starving. When will you be here?"

"We're about ten minutes away I think."

_Uh oh._ "Okay. We'll see you then." Rick hung up the phone and sprinted into the bedroom almost colliding into Kate and Ethan.

"Hey! Watch out!"

"Oops. Sorry. I need a shirt." He gushed as he handed her the bottle. She put the bottle in Ethan's mouth. Rick grabbed his jeans and threw them on. Then he went around the room, picking up all of the trash and went across the hall into the bathroom to throw it away. When he came back he started to make the bed.

Kate shook her head and knit her eyebrows together. "What are you doing?"

He looked up at her. "Your sister is coming over to make us breakfast. I need a shirt. She'll be here in less than ten minutes."

"How nice." She looked at him again. "You don't have to clean for her."

"I'm disposing of any evidence that we had sex."

Kate smiled and shook her head. "You don't have to. I'm a big girl, Castle. My sister knows I'm not a virgin. I'll probably tell her anyway."

He didn't slow down. "She's bringing Johanna."

"What? Well, why didn't you say that first?" She handed him Ethan and the bottle and went to the chest of drawers. She pulled out a shirt, yoga pants, and a bra for herself and squatted down to the bottom drawer to get a shirt for Rick. The first one she pulled out and handed to him had "FBI" on the front. When he refused to take it from her she looked up.

"Never. mind." He said. "I won't wear one."

"Stop being such a baby." She threw that shirt back in there and pulled out a navy blue NYPD t-shirt. "Better?"

He took the shirt and threw it over his shoulder. "Don't use that as a burp cloth, or you'll be wearing the FBI shirt."

When Avery and Johanna arrived, the staging was complete. Kate threw a pillow and blanket on the couch for good measure. Castle was sitting on the couch feeding Ethan when Kate answered the door.

"Hello."

"Hey, so how's it going?" Avery asked with a little more question behind the voice. She knew last night's breakdown was going to stir the pot between Kate and Rick. Of course, she had no idea how far things would go.

Johanna came bursting in "Aunt Katie!" She wrapped her arms around her Aunt and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then she leaned in and smelled her neck. "Are you okay?"

Kate tilted her head curiously. "I'm fine, why?"

"No reason. You smell a little different, that's all."

Kate looked at her and narrowed her eyes. "Johanna Beckett. You've been reading too many Stephanie Meyer books. Stay away from my neck."

"Fine. Looks like someone beat me to it anyway." Kate's eyes widened. "Where's Ethan?"

Eager to change the subject, Kate pointed to the living room. "Castle has him in there. Feeding time."

"Oh! Yay!" She excitedly ran into the living room, plopping herself down on the couch right next to Castle. She just cooed at the baby and Castle was thrilled to watch the exchange.

Kate and Avery went to the kitchen. "There is something on your neck." Then in typical Beckett form: "Is there coffee?"

"Oh, wow. I haven't made it yet."

"You make the coffee, Katie, and I'm going to the bathroom. When I come back you're telling me everything."

Kate started the coffee and watched the interaction between Johanna and Castle from the doorway. He had just handed Ethan off to Jo and she was instantly smitten with the infant.

Avery came back to the kitchen so Kate turned and followed her in. She readied herself for the barrage of questions Avery was sure to ask. Avery poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I hope you don't mind, but I threw a lot of toilet paper in your trash can. I didn't want Johanna to go in and see condoms in there."

"Oops. Sorry."

"So you slept together?"

"Yeah." Kate blushed.

"Do you think that was the best thing to do? I mean, Kate, I know how you feel, but don't you think you should date first? I can't believe you let him seduce you like that."

"Actually, I seduced him."

"Kate!"

Kate couldn't help but smile to herself. Avery smiled and shook her head. Kate deserved to be happy. She was sure of that much.

"So? How was it? Judging by the contents of the trash I'm guessing it was more than once."

Kate sighed. "It was…really…intense. I knew that Castle and I would be explosive together. I wasn't wrong. Worries me though. What if it's just a flash in the pan? Like, Bam! Done." and she made an explosion motion with her hands.

"'Bam?"

"You know, Bam! Finished. All over before it even starts. You and Jacob. I mean you were together for seventeen years. Did it ever…?"

"Did it ever, 'Bam!' Katie, Jacob and I were never explosive. We loved each other deeply, but there really wasn't that fiery, passionate, insatiable desire for each other that I think you're describing. You should probably ask Maggie. She and Justin have been together longer. They always had a better sex life than we did, not that ours was bad, just different. And they were teenagers when they started dating; I remember they couldn't get enough of each other. Didn't ever want to be apart. Who would have thought crazy, hormonal teenagers could stay together for twenty years?"

Kate's eyes grew wide at Avery's words and she choked on her coffee.

"You okay? What happened?"

"Nothing. Your teenager statement made me think of something Castle said."

Avery gave her a questioning look that said "spill."

Kate took a deep breath. She was going to catch it for this one she was sure. "We're minus one condom."

Avery thought about this for a second before her eyes widened. "Kate, what were you thinking?"

"I think the point was that I wasn't thinking. I was feeling. I forgot to…"

"If you need a reminder of why you need to _think_ first, she's in the other room."

Castle came around the corner. From the looks of it he interrupted a pretty intense discussion about something. "Sorry, I'll come back later."

"No, No, we're done." Kate said, looking right at Avery. "I'll go check on Ethan and Jo." Kate left the room.

"Really, I'm sorry I interrupted. I just smelled coffee." Castle said to Avery. He walked over and poured himself a cup. Turning around he could see that Avery was glaring at him. _She told her._

"Look, Avery, I tried. I tried not to touch her. But I can't resist her. I can't tell her 'No.'" He couldn't help but smile.

He sat his mug on the counter after taking a sip. The writer in him couldn't help but notice the effect the last twenty-four hours was having on Kate's sister. Avery's hair was all knotted up in a scrunchie. She wasn't wearing make-up, and instead of her usual polished look she wore a long sleeve NYC ING marathon t-shirt and black soccer shorts with flip-flops. If Castle weren't so obsessed with her sister, he would have found her irresistible as well.

She smacked his arm like she could read his mind. "How could you?"

"How could I what?" Surely she didn't know he was thinking about her.

"How could you have sex with my sister without protection?" she was whispering now. "Have you lost your mind?"

He had no trouble answering her with a straight face. "Yes. I can't explain it any other way than to say that I couldn't think."

"I should have seen it coming." She muttered. "I shouldn't have told her to let you stay."

"Okay. Number one: You're not a mind reader, Avery. Even though sometimes I wonder. Number two: With all that she was going through last night, wild horses couldn't have dragged me away. I care about her. I'm going to do everything I can not to hurt her. She didn't need to be alone last night. And except for that one oversight, there isn't anything about the past 24 hours that I would change."

"I just…with the proposal, her being in love with you and then this thing with Emma, then she keeps Ethan, which I'm sure is playing with her hormones, it's like…it's like the perfect storm."

"You know she's going out with him tonight to tell him 'No.' Did you see the ring?"

"_You_ know I'm her sister, right? I knew about the proposal before it happened. Will talked to me about it. I'm the one who told him not to do it in public. Yes, she showed me the ring.

That was the same night she told me how she felt about you."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her how you were when we found you in the waiting room of the hospital. That I knew you cared about her then. That you kept apologizing, saying, 'I should have seen it coming. I should have gotten to her sooner. I should have stayed with her.' Nothing we said to you made anything better.

And I also told her you were a player, that it would be difficult to make anything stick long-term." Avery held his gaze. "If you hurt her, I'm sending Maggie after you. She's lethal with words, but her bite is worse."

Rick nodded. "I have no intention of…"

"I don't give a rat's ass about your intentions. Make sure it doesn't happen."

He nodded. "I think I'll go back in there, now."

"Can you send Johanna in here to help me with breakfast?"

"Sure."

"And Castle?"

"Yes?"

"Don't think for one minute that I don't appreciate what you're doing now."

"You're welcome." He sent Johanna back in and took her spot while Kate held the baby.

Ethan drifted to sleep right before breakfast was ready. Castle and Kate took him to the bedroom to lay him down. Kate took a deep breath. There was a smile in her eyes, "She gave you hell, huh?" He nodded.

"It was well deserved."

Kate shook her head. "She's always been overprotective."

"I'll bet your career choice drove her nuts."

"You have no idea."

"Oh, I'm getting one." He leaned in to her and kissed her gently.

"Do I need to close the door, or are you guys going to come up for food?" Johanna quipped.

Kate and Rick quickly pulled apart at the sound of the child's voice. Castle looked at Kate. "She has your sass," he deadpanned.

During breakfast Avery made it clear that it was her intention to stay until Emma's parents arrived, so Rick took that as his cue to leave. Kate followed him into the hall.

"I'll see you later? Tomorrow."

Kate looked at him and nodded. This was the first time in twenty-four hours that things felt awkward. Castle leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the lips, but he lingered too long and suddenly her hands were clenched in his hair and he was gripping her shirt. _Stop. You have to stop now._ He let her go and she released him. He turned and walked away before anything else could happen.


	9. Chapter 9

**There's good news and there's bad news… (I told you I like conflict. Consider yourselves warned).**

**Ch. 9**

Kate was getting ready for her "date" with Will. She didn't want to call it a date, but couldn't think of another word for what it was. She was dumping him, yes, and it wasn't going to be easy. Will had been good to her. He loved her, and even though they no longer wanted the same things she still did not feel good about hurting him.

She put on jeans and a nice top. Kate didn't know where they were going, but she didn't want to go anywhere fancy.

The apartment was quiet, almost too quiet. After Castle left, Kate, Avery and Johanna had a good time playing with Ethan. Emma's parents showed up shortly after noon, and Kate and Avery packed Ethan up. Kate threw all of the soiled items in a plastic bag for them. She found Castle's shirt and decided she would wash it later when she came home. Kate missed Ethan, but she missed Castle more. She needed a distraction from what she was about to do. She went to the sound dock and turned on her favorite playlist. Then she started to clean up. She saw a piece of paper stuck in between the couch cushions and grabbed it to toss.

Looking at the paper, she started to blush. _I wonder if Castle saw this. No way, if he had seen it, he would have said something. He couldn't resist teasing her about something like this. _She didn't even need to read over the list to know that she was doing the right thing. She "round filed" the list and moved on.

It was stunning how much things had changed in the past twenty-four hours. It was difficult to believe that she had been considering saying, "Yes," to Will. She didn't love him, and she did want a child, that was important to her. Sure, Kate didn't know that Richard Castle was "the one." No guarantees he would marry her. And who knows if he wants anymore children either. He was great with Ethan, even better than Kate, but Alexis is sixteen. Castle was almost at the finish line with raising her (or was she raising him?), so Kate didn't know how he felt. But she was sure that she wanted to know.

There was a knock, so Kate answered the door; Will was standing there smiling at her. He brought her roses. "Hi," he said, stepping over the threshold. He was wearing a jacket, but no tie and it wasn't a suit, so Kate felt okay about what she was wearing. Will leaned in and gave her a kiss. _So strange,_ she thought,_ I want to back away—like I'm cheating on Castle. Weird._ She could feel that Will wanted to intensify the kiss, but she broke it off.

"I should put these in water."

"Okay."

As she grabbed a vase from under the sink, she asked, "Where are we going?"

"I thought we'd go to Antonio's."

_Oh no. He thinks I'm going to say, "Yes." _ Antonio's was _their_ restaurant. It was where they'd had their first date—twice. It was where he'd asked her to go with him to Boston. It was going to be where she broke his heart. "Okay. Just let me get my bag."

Kate walked swiftly into the bedroom and grabbed the white box off of the bedside table. Illogically, she peeked inside to make sure the ring was still there. Then she threw it in her bag and headed out.

The restaurant was crowded, but somehow they managed a quiet booth in the corner. The wait staff knew them well and entertained them with some small talk. The food was excellent as was the wine, as usual, but Kate was stunned that Will did not seem to be picking up on the body language she was giving him. His intentions were clear: he wanted this to be the most romantic night. Then he ventured into territory Kate really didn't want to visit: the baby.

"So, how was it yesterday? A baby that little doesn't do much, right?"

"No. Eat, sleep and poop mostly. There were moments when he would look around and coo. I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking."

"Did you get any sleep at all? Did Avery come and help you out?"

"I slept some last night." _Last night._ Her spine and belly tingled just thinking of last night with Castle. "Avery came over this morning with Johanna; they made breakfast and stayed until Emma's parents got there."

"Emma? Oh, right, Emma." He had actually forgotten? "Yeah, how's she doing?"

"She's in quite a bit of pain, but she's awake now."

"That was quite a big favor they asked of you to take off of work and watch their newborn infant over night. I hope they know what a sacrifice it was for you."

Fire raged in her. Emma almost died and all he can think about was _her_ sacrifice? "It's what friends do, Will. And really it was no problem at all." _Time to get this show on the road._ "Actually, Castle came over and helped with Ethan, so I wasn't alone in it."

Will's face became stony. "Castle? How did Castle know?"

"I took Ethan with me to the precinct yesterday to ask for the day off, and Castle offered to help."

"How long was he there?"

"Oh, about twenty four hours."

"He was at your apartment for twenty-four hours. You needed his help the whole time?"

"He left after breakfast this morning when Avery was there. And, no, I didn't necessarily need his 'help' the entire time, but it was nice to have the company."

"I could have…"

"No. Remember? You said 'No.' Will, you've made it abundantly clear how you feel about children and babies. Why would I have asked you for help?"

"I would have been there if I knew…"

"What? If you knew that Castle was going to be there? So what's next? If I tell you that I really want to have kids and Castle is willing to father them, then all of the sudden you would be willing to as well?"

"You really want kids, don't you?"

"Yes. Yes I do." The anger left her voice. This was it. She opened up her bag and pulled out the white box. She set it in front of him. "I can't marry you, Will."

"All because of children? I mean I know we just talked about this, but I love you Kate. If having children is what would make you happy, then we can work that out. I can't see throwing away our relationship over whether or not we have children."

"It's not the only reason. I…" _How do I do this? This is going to really hurt him. Think about what Castle said. It's about being fair. He deserves someone who will love him. _"I'm not in love with you, Will."

"Kate…"

"I'm sorry. I tried; I did love you before, but now…. I just can't. It isn't fair. It's not fair to me or to you. You deserve better; you deserve someone who will love you back. I'm just not her."

"I can't believe this. You told me you loved me."

"And I was trying to."

"Trying to? What is that? Am I so horrible that you have to force yourself to _love_ me?"

"No. You aren't horrible. I'm horrible. I'm the horrible person here. All this time I thought I was giving 'us' a chance, and now I realize that I've just made everything worse." Kate had a lump in her throat. She didn't realize this would be so difficult.

"It's Castle isn't it? He's the reason you're dumping me. He poisoned you against me."

"Nonsense. He didn't poison me against you, but he did make me see what I wanted for the rest of my life. I'm sorry, Will. I'm very, very sorry." She stood and walked out the door. The tears didn't spill over cheeks until she was safely inside the cab. She gave the cabbie Castle's address; she didn't want to be alone.

***********************************************************************

When Castle left Kate's apartment he felt as light as a feather. _I slept with Kate Beckett. Too good to be true, and yet I'm wearing one of her T-shirts. _He remembered the movie "Turner and Hooch" where Turner is talking with his partner who accuses him of "humping the vet." Castle cringed at the verbiage. Turner then explains that he had a "religious experience" with said vet. A religious experience. That was what it was like with Kate Beckett.

Castle went to his apartment and changed clothes. He was going shopping; for what he had no idea, but he felt the need to buy _something_. Rick walked all over Manhattan (within reason) and he found a few things. He realized that it was late afternoon—he had been walking around most of the day. In all honesty, he was just trying to keep his mind off of Kate. Otherwise he would end up on her doorstep, and she didn't need that right now either. Kate was not a cruel person, and rejecting Will Sorenson would not be easy for her. He made a mental note to call her later.

Rick hailed a cab and made his way back to his apartment. As he walked through the door, he heard a voice he wasn't exactly thrilled to hear. _Meredith._ Meredith and Alexis were sitting on the sofa chatting about whatever mothers and daughters talk about. "Hello girls." He said giving them his best smile. "Meredith, what are you doing in town?"

"Well, we finished shooting that film and I decided to come see you and Alexis while I had a break. In two weeks I start shooting another film."

"That's great! I'm so happy for you. Do you ladies have any plans for the evening?"

"Gram and I decided to go out to dinner at a new Indian restaurant tonight. Then we're going to see a movie. I'm trying to talk mom into going. Do you want to go with?" Alexis asked her dad.

"I don't think so sweetie. I'm actually kind of tired. Taking care of a newborn is exhausting. I forgot how sleep deprived new parents are. I'm going upstairs to take a shower and I'm probably going to turn in early. You guys have fun though. You should go with them Mere. My treat."

"Thanks Richard," she said in her sweetest voice, "I'm considering it. Although I am pretty tired myself."

If Rick had been paying closer attention to her, he would have noticed the look in her eyes. He might have been able to head her off at the pass. But his mind was elsewhere.

"Well, have a good night."

"You too Dad."

"Good night, Richard."

He made his way upstairs. He lay down on his bed for a few minutes, thinking about his time with Kate and Ethan. They were laying the foundation for their relationship, and that made him slightly nervous. He knew that having sex with her was a religious experience for him, but what was it to her? He also worried that she wasn't over his stunt with her mother's case. Does she trust him? He had so many concerns already; they had so much to talk about, but the physical attraction was incredible. He knew he loved her. He knew she loved him. Was it enough? His eyelids started to get heavy so he heaved himself up off the bed to get a shower before he fell asleep. Glancing at the clock he realized that Kate was already on her date (was that what it was called?) with Sorenson. _I hope she's okay._

He turned the water on and stripped while he waited for it to heat up. Stepping into the shower, he just stood there for a while, letting the hot water sluice over his body. His mind was still racing about Kate, but this time his thoughts were carnal ones. He couldn't hear the bathroom door open for the shower and his thoughts, so when two arms wrapped around him he had a few choice words. "Shit! What the hell?" He spun around and there was Meredith, naked, in his shower. "Meredith, now is not the time. Get out of my shower."

"But Richard, it looks like a perfect time," she said, dropping her gaze to below his waist.

"Meredith!" He put his hands in front of him to cover up.

"What's with you?"

"I just really need for you to get out and leave the room." He tried to use his kindest voice. He couldn't expect her to know that he was in a relationship. It _just_ happened. And this would have been completely expected and welcomed behavior two days ago.

"Okay," she said, opening the shower door and stepping out. "But you owe me an explanation."

"And you'll get one when I'm fully dressed."

Rick finished up quickly and stepped out of the shower. The closet was right off the bathroom and he grabbed boxers, jeans and a button down. The conversation he was about to have required dressing in regular clothes instead of sweat pants and a t-shirt. For some reason Meredith was more attracted to him in sweats. Stepping into the boxers and jeans, Castle wandered into the bedroom while sliding his arms into his shirt. He froze as soon as he entered the room.

Meredith was lying stark naked on his bed, waiting for him. "Why are you dressed?"

"I told you I would give you an explanation when I was fully clothed. Why aren't _you _dressed?"

"I decided that I didn't care about your explanation. I just want to get laid, and you're the perfect guy for the job." She moved toward him and pulled him to her. She snagged his hand and placed it on her bare breast. He removed it quickly, as if he had just touched an open flame.

"Meredith, I'm in a relationship now. I can't do this."

"I'll never tell." She said, "This will be just between the two of us." Her hands went to the button on his jeans. _Damn she's persistent._

He grabbed both of her wrists and forced her to take a step back. "No. Meredith. I'm not doing this." He slid his shirt off his back and handed it to her. "Put this on. I'll order food and we'll talk over dinner."

"Oh, don't bother with the food, I already ordered." Meredith pulled the shirt over herself. Rick was heading back to the closet for another shirt. "I know how much of a workout sex can be. You're always hungry after. I ordered Thai. Hope that's okay."

"It's fine." Rick came back in the room with a t-shirt in his hand. The door bell rang.

"That's probably the food now." Meredith stated. "Do you have money? What am I thinking? Of course you do. I'll get the door you get the money." She was out the bedroom door and starting down the steps before he could say anything.

_The delivery guy is going to think he entered a porn film when she answers the door in that. _Meredith wasn't for him, but he'd have to be blind not to notice how beautiful she was. She totally did not look like someone that could be the mother of a sixteen year old.

When Meredith opened the door, there were only two of the middle buttons buttoned on Rick's shirt. She was very obviously naked under it when she smiled at Kate Beckett through the doorway. "Oh, hello." Meredith said sweetly. "Richard didn't say we were having company for dinner."

Kate couldn't believe her eyes. _The deep-fried Twinkie? What's she doing here? And why is she naked?_ "I….He's not expecting…."

At that moment Richard Castle passed by in the background throwing a t-shirt over his bare chest, his hair obviously wet from the shower. "Wait a minute. I'm coming with the money," he yelled over his shoulder, passing to the study. Kate felt a fire burning in her stomach. _I have to get out of here._

"I'm sorry to interrupt. I'll see him later." _Much later. _Kate said as calmly as she could around the lump in her throat. She knew she had about thirty seconds before her eyes would not hold back the fresh batch of tears. She turned and headed for the elevator. As she pressed the down button, she heard Meredith say as she was closing the door, "False alarm, it wasn't the food. It was your muse. She said…"

Luckily the elevator was still on his floor, seeing as she just got off. Kate stepped in the elevator and as the doors were closing she saw Castle running out the door. "Kate!" The doors closed just in time. The tears streamed down her face as it crumpled.


	10. Chapter 10

**One more chapter after this one. I'm going to be out of town until Sunday with no access to anything electronic. (No, not even my phone—no I'm not going to jail.) I hope you like it. Thanks for all of the great reviews. Now for the next fic. A sequel to this one or something totally different? I have some ideas. Let me know what you think.**

**Ch. 10**

Kate had taken a cab back to her apartment only to grab her car. Her mind was running a mile a minute. If she hadn't been so upset after breaking things off with Will, she might have given Castle a chance to explain. Did she think Castle slept with Meredith? It was a possibility, given their history, but after last night with Castle, maybe it wasn't. Was Meredith trying to seduce Castle? Kate didn't know that much about Meredith, but she considered it a possibility as well.

Now, she was just embarrassed. She couldn't go back over there. She needed to calm down. It was almost as if she could feel her emotions swirling around just under her skin, and at the slightest provocation they would ooze through her pores and take control. Kate didn't like the feeling.

Driving through the city, Kate picked up her phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Heidi?"

"Kate, hey what's going on?"

"Can you call something in for me? I meant to call you earlier, but I was distracted."

"Sure thing. What do you need and where do I call?"

"I'm going to Avery's. Can you call it in to the Walgreen's over there? I think its open twenty-four hours."

Their discussion was brief, but adequate. Kate was running, yes, but Avery was a safe spot. Kate used to go to Maggie; Maggie was her big defender, and truth be told, Maggie's moral compass was slightly more relaxed than Avery's. But Kate figured out as she matured that Maggie seemed to "feed the fire" so to speak. That red hair trait seemed to reside on the same gene that craves conflict and violence. Justin was a virtual saint for putting up with her.

Avery on the other hand, thought things through like their mother. She had her wild side in college and Kate knew that. In fact, Avery had gone through a period of time, a very dark period, where she was pretty self-destructive. Kate knew something had happened and had her own theories about it, but she never approached Avery with it. Kate remembered her mother and father talking. She was twelve or thirteen, and she overheard her mother say that she thought Avery was pregnant. Kate took that information straight to Maggie, who was seventeen maybe eighteen at the time, and Maggie went straight to Avery to find the truth.

"Not anymore." Avery had said. She had broken up with her boyfriend about two months prior. Kate was eighteen and Avery was twenty-five and pregnant with Johanna before Kate could approach her about it. Back then Avery had been thinking about abortion and adoption, and wasn't able to decide. Abortion felt wrong to her, but the thought of being pregnant at nineteen was just devastating. On the flip side, Avery wasn't sure she could give up a baby. She ended up having a miscarriage, but the guilt of feeling so relieved rocked her.

After that Avery dated many guys. Some as much as fourteen years older than her. Divorcees and maybe some were still married. Where as Maggie had her promiscuous streak in high school, Avery had hers in college and it was much more dangerous. Avery was very careful with herself physically, but mentally and emotionally she was killing herself. The fact that Avery overcame that and became the woman she is today is why she is now Kate's rock. The voice of reason.

As much drama as Kate had been through, Avery had been through more. They both lost their mother, obviously, but Avery has always been concerned that it affected Kate more than the rest of them. She was the youngest. She was still basically at home when it happened. Avery took it upon herself to do her best to fill in the role. Kate cringed when she thought of the times that Avery tried to give guidance Kate didn't want. "You're not my mother!" Kate would scream at her.

Avery wanted Kate to move out of the house when their father's drinking was out of control. Kate stayed and Avery gave her the credit due for saving their father's life.

Kate texted Avery to let her know she was coming.

_Are you okay?_ Avery texted back.

_No. But it's nothing you can't fix._ Kate replied.

************************************************************************

Richard Castle was upset to say the least. He was upset with Meredith and himself, but he was also upset with Kate. The only thing that helped him keep his cool was that she has had a really rough twenty-four hours. With everything she had gone through, it was understandable that she would have that reaction. He knew she was in no mood for confrontation. He sent Meredith back to the hotel and debated whether or not to call Kate or go to her apartment. He wanted to. He really wanted to at least talk this out or see her face, but just when he had decided to go, Alexis and his mother came home.

After talking it out (without the gory details) he decided to wait until morning to go after her. Maybe she needed some time to think. He was definitely thinking. _Did I screw this up before it even got started? We shouldn't have slept together so soon. Ugh! We should have dated first. Why couldn't he just stop with kissing? Because she didn't want to and he couldn't say 'no' to her._ This was all going to blow up in his face. He could feel it.

************************************************************************

Kate walked through the door to Avery's house to the tinkling of piano keys. Avery was playing the piano. _Debussy, I think._ Kate and Avery had the musical talent in the family. Andrew appreciated music, but fought lessons growing up tooth and nail. Maggie tried the viola—it was a disaster, and if you ever heard her sing…well, the only thing that kept Kate from laughing was Maggie's violent streak.

Kate sat down on the piano bench next to Avery. Avery stopped playing and looked at her. Looking down at the prescription bag in her hands she said, "What's that?"

"Plan B."

"You sure you want to do that? Last time…." Avery shivered.

"I know I need to have the option."

"You have forty-eight more hours."

"Yeah."

"What did Castle say?"

"Oh Avery, I've screwed things up so bad."

"How so?"

Kate went through the evening with Avery, from the restaurant with Will to getting back on the elevator at Castle's. They moved from the piano bench to the couch in the family room. Avery thought for a minute. "So you left without giving him a chance to explain? That's pretty adolescent, Kate."

"I know. I feel terrible. I was 100% reaction. No thinking. God, how does that man make me lose my faculties?"

"Well, that would be love. But you are going to have to figure out how to let your brain in." Avery chided. "You have to call him."

"I can't. I'm just mortified of my behavior. I don't think my voice will hold tonight."

"Then text him. You have to let him know you aren't angry. You can't let him worry all night."

"Okay."

"I also think you should sleep on it before you take those pills." Kate's head whipped around to her sister. "Kate, I don't think you're capable of remembering the last time, but believe me when I say this: I was completely afraid you were going to kill yourself. Please sleep on it."

"Okay." Kate said with emphasis. "I'm going to text him now."

Avery grabbed the pharmacy bag from her. "I'll put these away in my bedroom. Tell Castle to come by for breakfast in the morning. We'll be going to church, but I don't imagine you'll be going. Y'all can talk."

Kate grinned. Avery went to Emory University in Atlanta for her Bachelors and Masters. She came away with more than the degrees. She found her Good Ole Boy husband (who happened to be brilliant) down there, and she brought back an accent as a souvenir.

"Shut up!" Avery quipped to Kate, knowing exactly why she was grinning.

Kate pulled out her phone. _I'm sorry. _She typed. _I was overwhelmed. I should not have left that way._ Kate hit the send button.

**********************************************************************

Castle's phone chimed letting him know he had a text message. He was lying across his bed, trying to go to sleep. When he saw it was from Beckett, he sat up straight. _Crap._

"I'm sorry. I was overwhelmed. I should not have left that way." Castle pondered this. She didn't sound angry. She sounded apologetic.

_No. You shouldn't have. Apology accepted. _He texted back. _Are you alright?_

"Getting better. I'm at Avery's. She wants you to come over for breakfast."

_To meet the firing squad? Absolutely. What time?_ Castle was almost positive Avery was not happy about the current state of affairs. It had barely been twelve hours since she told him not to hurt her. And even though he didn't do anything wrong, Avery might not see it that way.

"Avery's mad at me. Not you." She knew him so well. "Be here at 7:30 am."

Normally Castle would have balked at the time, and as it was he involuntarily bristled at the idea of _arriving_ somewhere at that time. But he needed to see her. She could have said 4am and he would have been there.

_Okay, see you then. Address?_

Kate texted him the address and said "Until tomorrow." _Oh, look at that. Hopeful._ He smiled at the fact that she threw his words back at him. Rick set the alarm on his phone and drifted off to sleep.

**********************************************************************

Avery woke Kate up at around 3:30 a.m. "Kate, wake up. I need to talk to you for a second and you can go back to sleep."

"Yeah?"

"I have a patient who's in labor."

"I thought you weren't on call."

"I'm not, but I delivered her other two children and I told her if it was possible I'd be there for this one. It's only possible if you can stay until I get back."

"What time will the girls get up?" When Kate arrived last night everyone was asleep but Avery.

"Lily will be up first at about eight if you don't wake her. I won't make you take them to church."

"Thanks."

"What time is Castle getting here?"

"Oh, I told him 7:30."

"Well, I might not be too long; this is her third natural delivery. You'll stay?"

"Sure. Why not? I've got nothing better to do." She muttered turning over and going back to sleep.

"Thanks Katie. See you in a bit."

"MmmHmm."

Castle was right on-time in the morning. There was a post-it note on the door that said "side door-left."

Avery lived in a very nice house in Forest Hills. Castle just took a cab; he hoped Kate would give him a ride home. He walked around the side of the house, spotting Kate's car in the driveway. Avery had a three car garage. _Wonder what she puts in there._ He found the French doors and sure enough the left side was open.

Castle walked into the breakfast room and he heard Kate singing. He didn't recognize the song but it was kind of jazzy and very sultry. She had her back to him. Her hair was in a loose ponytail (a style he really liked on her) and she was wearing a denim looking robe that was hanging open.

"Hi." She said without turning around.

"Hi." He bounced back, walking towards her in the kitchen. "How'd you know it was me and not 'Jack the Ripper.' Pretty bold giving directions and leaving the door open."

She flashed a look over her shoulder and jerked her head to the side. "Security system. I saw you. Jacob was very…protective."

"Nice house."

"Yes it is. I'll give you a tour after breakfast and when the girls wake up." She was mixing eggs, milk and cinnamon in a bowl and she had a stack of thickly sliced bread on the counter.

"French toast?"

"Yep, and bacon. Just getting it ready. I'll start cooking when I hear them. It'll be a surprise. I got here last night after they were in bed."

"Where's Avery?"

"Delivering a baby. Actually she should be here any minute. She called an hour ago and said she was wrapping it up."

"Everything went well?"

"That's what she said. Third baby, boy, nine and a half pounds."

"Whoa."

"Yeah, no kidding." She couldn't stand it, this dance around what they really needed to talk about. "I'm sorry you know." Her back was still to him. She walked to the sink to wash her hands.

"I know."

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for what I saw, and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I just…I don't know. With everything…I just couldn't."

She turned to face him. He still couldn't get over how young she looked without makeup. She was wearing a green t-shirt that was so long he couldn't tell if she had on anything underneath it. Castle took a step closer. "Well, you probably weren't too far off base."

Kate's eyes flashed anger and she had that wrinkle in her brow. "Let me clarify. Nothing happened, but Meredith wanted something to happen." He gave her the whole story—including the gory details this time, but also telling her in no uncertain terms that Meredith knew where (and with whom) he stood. Kate walked closer to him so that she was inches away.

"So we're good?" She asked.

"Together? We're great. I mean you're extraordinary and I'm, well, _me_," Kate rolled her eyes. "How could we not be great together?"

Kate reached out and fisted her hands in his sweater, pulling him towards her.

"Uh, Kate? I was thinking." She placed a light kiss on his neck. _Why is he so irresistible to me?_

"Yeah?"

"I think we should date." She placed another kiss on his jaw and he swallowed hard.

"Date? Okay. I don't see a problem with that."

"I think we should date before we…" He cleared his throat. "Again." Rick didn't say "have sex or sleep together" because it was more than that. He wouldn't say "make love" because that made him want to gag. He was at a loss for words. She had that affect on him, especially when she was this close.

"Before we…what?" She said to him right before she kissed him lightly on the lips. She knew exactly what he meant, but she wanted him to say it.

"Before we wrestle." His eyebrows flicked upwards playfully. "Naked."

"Right. Whatever you say." Kate leaned in and kissed him hard. She instantly opened her mouth to his and he kissed her back. His hands slid under the robe and he picked her up and placed her on the counter. Kate wrapped her legs around him and he quickly found out that she wasn't wearing shorts under the shirt-just underwear.

"Oh come on, y'all. I prepare food for children there." Avery had walked in the same door Castle had and was greeted by the sight of a man's back with her baby sister's feet crossed at the ankles behind him. She was glad to see that everything was okay, but she was also glad she came home when she did. "I'm guessing things are all right between you two."

Kate looked around Castle to Avery and said, "We're great." She had given Castle some space so he could calm down before facing Avery.

"Did you talk about the other thing?" Kate's face got very serious. Castle noticed and it helped his condition emphatically.

"What _other_ thing?"

"No." Kate replied. "And I wasn't planning on it."

"Kate, I think he could provide valuable input, and he is involved."

"Avery…come on." Kate whined, a sound Castle was not used to.

"Kate. You know I'm right."

"Okay. Go get it. I can't believe I let you talk me into this." It was a topic they had discussed the night before and best to get it over with before the kids (particularly Johanna) woke up. Avery left the room and came back with a prescription bottle. She handed it to Kate.

"What are we talking about here?" Castle was getting concerned. Kate was clearly agitated and Avery looked worried. Kate pushed Castle back and hopped off the counter. She went and sat down at the table. Castle and Avery followed.

"This is the 'morning after' pill." She sat the prescription bottle down on the table. "I picked it up on the way in last night."

"That's what this is about? Kate, I'm fine with that."

"It's not that simple. I can't take any hormonal form of birth control. It gives me crippling migraine headaches. They incapacitate me for three to four days and I'm in excruciating pain. Maggie is the same way."

"We used to have to hide any sort of pain medication from them. They would just keep taking it until they overdosed. Imitrex lessened the intensity, but they were still hurting." Avery chimed in.

"I haven't been on the pill since high school." Kate stated looking at the table.

"Okay." Rick said, still somewhat confused. "We'll use condoms. I'll never forget again. I swear."

Kate smiled at him. "Thanks, but not exactly where I was going. Two years ago, when I was with Will, the condom broke and I went and got this pill. Actually its _pills_, but whatever. I figured that 'It's only two pills. How bad can it be?'"

Avery took over. "It was the worst I've ever seen. Kate thought she was dying. She couldn't stand the light or any noise. Will didn't know what to do, so he called me. When I got there Will was holding the ibuprofen bottle in his hand. He didn't know how many she had taken. As it turns out she took ten. 2000 milligrams. Not enough to damage anything permanently, but scary just as well. Luckily she didn't have any acetaminophen in the apartment. When the vomiting started it took her over the edge."

Rick looked at Kate and could tell she was embarrassed by the conversation. It showed weakness and that was unacceptable to her.

"When she threw up the head ache was unbearable. That's when she remembered she had a gun." Rick went pale. "She had the safety off and it was loaded. She was in so much pain all she could think about was ending it in any way possible. Will was thinking he was going to have to shoot her in the shoulder to keep her from killing herself. I convinced her to wait. I had some morphine with me and gave her a dose. I followed that with Imitrex and it solved the problem. But I have never seen anything like it before."

Rick reached out and grabbed the bottle off the table. "No." He said. "It's not worth it."

"Castle," Kate spoke up. "the possible alternatives?"

"What. That you might get pregnant? We'll cross that bridge when…_if_ we come to it. That story…it's ridiculous that you would even think about taking this again."

"I would take Imitrex with it and Avery would have morphine."

"Kate this is ridiculous. I know that now may not be the right time and hell, I may not be the right guy, but what you are talking about doing for the _possibility_ of getting pregnant. That's crazy. No way."

Kate thought about it, raised her eyebrows and nodded her head. "Okay." She sighed. She stood and took the bottle from Castle depositing it in the trash can.

A small voice came from the doorway. "See Kate, I told you she was hee-uh. I saw the caw in the dwiveway." Everyone turned to the voice just in time to see Kate Moore run to her aunt. "Aunt Katie!"

Kate hugged them both and smiled back at Castle. It was another surprise. There was playfulness about her with her nieces. "You guys want some breakfast?"

"Yeah," Lily answered. "Fwench toast?"

"French toast it is." Kate responded. She headed for the kitchen, her greatest admirer watching her from the kitchen table.


	11. Chapter 11

**I apologize for my delay with this chapter. I had two other stories in my head demanding to be set free. And this last chapter just wouldn't come to me. There is a sequel in the making and I needed to figure out the transition. Not exactly happy with it (esp. the end) but I'm glad to be on to bigger and better things. Now back to Random Acts…**

**Chapter 11**

Kate walked through the hospital carrying a bag full of magazines and the latest mystery novel. She hated hospitals, which kind of came with the territory. As a cop she was here frequently to give blood for other injured cops. Sometimes she was here because this is where someone died as a result of another's wrong doing. Sometimes she was here because she was injured herself.

She stepped onto the elevator and pressed the button for the fourth floor, the home of Women's Services. They had taken Emma here to recuperate as soon as she was strong enough so Ethan could be here with her. On the ride up, she thought about her day.

Spending the morning with Avery, the girls and Castle. Then taking Little Kate and Lily to the park with Castle. There was something that niggled at her brain about that. She kept feeling like they were being watched, but every time she turned around the only one staring at her was Castle. There was a moment of panic when they couldn't find Lily. Avery had warned them that she was a Houdini. Kate shuddered at the memory of her terror, and Castle's. She had just seen too many awful things to not think the worst, but they found her sitting on a bench about thirty feet away. She said she was "westing." That was when they decided to head back to the house.

Kate drove Castle back to the city after the trip to the park. He asked her out on a "date." She couldn't help but smile at the memory. He was taking her out tonight, "Dinner and a movie," he had said, "the traditional 'first date.'" He gave her a very chaste kiss as he exited the car and winked at her. In typical Beckett fashion, Kate rolled her eyes at him. Kate made the decision then to come see Emma, so she returned to her apartment, showered, changed and drove over, stopping at a bookstore on the way.

The elevator doors opened to the maternity floor. As Kate approached Emma's room she heard laughter and familiar voices. The door was open just a crack and after knocking she pushed the door open. She expected to see Jorge and Emma, of course, and she'd heard Avery and Maggie's voices from outside the door, but what surprised her was seeing Castle sitting next to Maggie on the window seat/couch. Shifting her emotions from surprise back to concern, she went to Emma.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Kate asked as she sat the bag down on the hospital table next to the bed. Emma already looked better than she did the morning they dropped Ethan off just over 48 hours earlier. Some color had been restored to her cheeks and the sparkle had returned to her eyes. She was even smiling.

"I'm much better. Still very sore," Emma glanced at Avery, "which I understand will take a while to get over. Really, Avery, do you expect me to not drive for two whole weeks?"

Jorge answered before Avery could open her mouth. "Really, Emma. No driving. We are following Dr. Roberts' and Avery's instructions to the letter. Just think about it like a chemical reaction, if you stir it too soon or too fast, it can get out of control."

"Oh that's nice. I'll have to remember that for future reference." Castle chimed in. "Good advice for relationships too." He winked at Kate, who rolled her eyes.

"You look better. It's good to see you smile." Kate gushed over her friend. It was good to see her smile. With all Emma had been through, the fact that she could ever smile amazed her. The same way Avery amazed her.

"They say I'll be able to go home in a couple of days. I'm really looking forward to that. Of course, my mom is going to stay at least until I can drive and they take out the staples, so I'll have to suffer through that, but all things considered…I'll take it." Emma said with a smile. "Your friend Castle here brought me a book to read." Emma held up a copy of Heat Wave.

"Yeah, well, I brought you a real mystery novel for when you get tired of the fluff." Kate replied smirking at Castle.

"Hey!" Castle exclaimed, holding his hand over his heart.

"Don't sweat it Castle. We know she owns every one of your books. And that even if she didn't say so, she's flattered you based this one on her." Jorge looked straight at Kate when he said it. "Your secret is out, sister. We know what happened Friday night. Our child better not be scarred for life."

Kate gasped and looked at Castle, who immediately held up his hands and said "I did not say ONE word."

Kate looked to Avery.

"I told the mouth." Avery jerked her head towards Maggie.

Kate looked to Maggie. "So, Mags, is this going to be on the front page of the Times tomorrow?"

"Only if you have pictures." Maggie deadpanned. "Really, my little sister shags a famous author and you expect me to tell no one?"

"Maggie!" Kate's face turned pink with embarrassment. "Oh my God."

Ethan piped up from Maggie's arms and that was the first time Kate noticed him in the room. Maggie couldn't help herself. "Kate, you want to hold him again? You're going to need the practice."

"Avery!" Kate was used to being toyed with by her sisters, and even Jorge and Emma, but doing it in front of Castle, well, she wasn't sure she was ready for him to see this side of her. They were all laughing now, including Castle, and Kate couldn't help but smile.

"Please, please stop!" Emma begged. "It hurts to laugh."

"Only you would think that way, Maggie. You and Justin couldn't walk by each other in the hallway without you getting knocked up. It isn't any wonder he had to get a vasectomy. Avery's just hopeful because she needs the business." Kate retorted.

"Wouldn't be all bad." Emma said. "Ethan would have someone to play with."

Kate got a lump in her throat. She didn't want to be pregnant. Not now. They needed to get to know each other. And truth be told, she wanted to be married before she had a child. Honestly, she hadn't even had the chance to see what Castle wants for the future. Hell, they haven't even been on their first date yet. But there was the tiniest part of her that wanted it for her friend. Kate would give anything to make Emma's life a little happier. Tears formed in her eyes.

Emma spoke up quickly when she saw Kate's face. "Kate. I didn't mean it. I mean, I was just looking for the silver lining. I wasn't hoping or anything. We'll be fine. Maybe we'll adopt." Emma was starting to get choked up too.

Kate sat on the edge of the bed and gently leaned down to embrace her friend. "I know. It'll be fine either way," she murmured in her ear. "My offer still stands you know."

The entire room stilled when the phrase passed from Kate's mouth to Emma's ear. Every one except Castle knew what the "offer" was, and Castle wasn't stupid. He would probably figure it out.

At that moment Ethan decided that it was time to eat, which meant that everyone but Jorge left the room. Emma wasn't uncomfortable, but Maggie and Castle were, so everyone made excuses to leave and return the next day to visit.

They rode down to the lobby in silence. Once in the lobby, Maggie started in on Kate again. "Really, Kate, I can't believe you let that happen."

"Mags, give it a rest," Avery shot. "She knows it was stupid. Don't act like you've never made that mistake."

"I've been with the same man for nineteen years. No possibility of getting diseases and we at least knew where we stood on having children."

"I think we can leave Castle. They obviously don't know we're here." Kate spat.

"I think I'd like to defend myself. First, I have NO diseases. Clean as a whistle. I haven't had unprotected sex in fifteen years. Except for yesterday." Castle paused. "And while Kate couldn't know how I would feel about children, she does know that I have enough money to take care of whatever happens whichever way she chooses."

Maggie's red hair took over. "I'll give you that she knows you have money, but the 'clean' thing? You have quite the reputation; there's no way she could know you were clean. That makes her actions stupid."

Kate sat down in one of the lobby chairs. Elbows on her knees, Kate put her face in her hands. "Oh…here we go."

Avery tried to head off Maggie's tirade. "Maggie. She's an adult. She can make her own decisions."

Castle was shaking his head. "I can't believe this. You are talking about her like she's a teenager. Do you know who she is? Do you know what she does every day? She hunts down murderers. She gives families like yours, families who have lost loved ones in violent ways, answers. Now I get that she's your little sister and you feel the need to 'mother' her, but I won't listen to it. She's one of the most incredible people I've ever met." Castle could feel Maggie winding up to strike back, and took it as his cue to leave stage right. "I'll see you all later. I have a date to get ready for. Kate, I'll be by at 7."

Kate's eyes were wide. Castle's outburst stunned her, but it also made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. "I guess you're finished now." Kate stood up. The three of them together were quite a sight. None of the Beckett siblings looked enough alike to say they were related, but there was something about Kate, Avery and Maggie that let you know they were sisters from a distance.

"I like him." Maggie said casually as if nothing had transpired between them. "I think he can hold his own."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, he thinks you're a bitch now. And by the way, this little 'piss off Kate's man' skit is getting really old."

"Sorry. Old habit. I'll apologize to him. Maybe I'll give you free babysitting." Maggie grinned at Kate.

"Shut up." Kate didn't smile, but her eyes said she wasn't angry. "I have to go get ready for a date. See you later." Kate turned from her sisters and walked in the opposite direction of Castle to the parking garage. She loved her sisters, but the tendency they had to treat her like a child was extremely annoying. And Maggie would always try to "break" any beau Kate brought around. No one has ever fought back though; usually they would just ride the wave until it crashed. Kate was pretty sure Castle could handle her family.

As she reached her car, she had that feeling again. It was coming more and more, the feeling that someone was watching her.

Kate arrived at her apartment building with two hours to pull herself together for the date. On her way up in the elevator, felt the familiar butterfies in her stomach. Why was she nervous? They had already slept together; the date was a formality, right? It would be the first time they went out in public as a "couple." But they weren't likely to run into anyone she knew. Maybe this was what love felt like; she was just excited to see him again.

Kate walked in the door to her apartment and stepped on a piece of paper. It was a nondescript envelope. "Kate" it read. Grabbing a knife from the kitchen and using it as a letter opener, she slit the seam of the envelope and grasped the note inside. As soon as she opened it the smile left her face. She immediately laid it on the counter so she wouldn't get any more of her fingerprints on it. It was a letter handwritten to her in unfamiliar block lettering. It said:

"MY DEAREST KATE,

I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY. I FOLLOWED YOU LAST NIGHT AND

NOTICED YOU WERE UPSET WHEN YOU LEFT DINNER. I HOPE THAT

MAN DID NOT HURT YOU. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ANY ONE

WHO HURTS YOU WILL PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE.

I THOUGHT MAYBE NOW WAS OUR TIME, BUT I CAN SEE THAT

YOU ARE STILL SOWING YOUR WILD OATS. I AM A PATIENT MAN.

YOU ARE WORTH WAITING FOR. BUT I WILL NOT WAIT FOREVER.

SEEING YOU HOLD ANOTHER MAN'S HAND OR KISS HIM FILLS ME

WITH RAGE. PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

I LOVE YOU,

YOUR SOUL MATE

Kate was angry. Someone was following her? Really? She had a stalker? What kind of idiot would stalk a cop? She wasn't afraid. Kate knew how to take care of herself. The fact that someone had the audacity to follow her around and invade her privacy like that pissed her off. She grabbed a latex glove out of her purse and used it to put the letter in a zip-loc bag. Then she put the letter in her desk drawer. Castle would not let it rest if he saw the letter, and she didn't want to ruin the evening. Lanie could dust it for prints tomorrow. Now it was time to get ready for Castle.

Kate Beckett was known for being straight-laced and buttoned up; she knew that was her reputation especially around the office (which also meant Castle). So this night she decided to mix it up a bit. If Richard Castle was going to date her before they "wrestled naked" again then she was going to make him squirm. Kate chose a pair of tight dark denim jeans and a red backless halter top that just held on to her by strings in the back. She would finish off the look with her black leather jacket. She teased and curled her hair into a sexy slightly wind-blown look. Putting the finishing touches on her make-up, she heard a knock at the door.

Smiling, she opened the door to a handsomely dressed Richard Castle. He was wearing a different sweater from this morning and a pair of khaki pants. He took her in and shook his head. "You are full of surprises, Kate Beckett. You are incredibly stunning tonight."

"Thank you. You clean up nice yourself, Castle." She smiled alluringly at him. "Let me get my jacket and we can go." Kate turned around and while she wished that she could have seen his face, the audible gasp was sufficient in letting her know that the torture had officially begun. She heard the door close and felt his hands on her arms and his mouth on her shoulder.

"On second thought, let's stay here."

"No way, I'm ready to go out. There's nothing to do here." _But we better hurry. I'm not sure how much I can resist._

Kissing her neck, Castle said, "You."

Getting more breathless by the second, Kate said, "Me what?"

"I can do _you_ here." Kate trembled and then steeled herself for her next move. She turned around, startling him.

"Oh no, Castle. Not a chance." She grinned at him. "You said you wanted to 'date' first. That is what we're doing."

He advanced towards her. "Maybe we can go on the date after and do naked wrestling before. You know a little dessert before dinner." Just when his lips were about to land on hers she backed off and put her hand on his chest.

Shaking her head Kate uttered seductively, "Uh-uh Castle. We are sticking to the plan. Just like a first date. Pretending Friday night didn't happen. At least for now."

"Fine." He whined. "I guess I can wait until after."

Kate put on her jacket. "After what?" She asked innocently.

"After the date, then we can have dessert when we get back." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"I don't know who you think I am, Castle, but I don't sleep with guys on the first date." Kate grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

"What! You mean tonight we're not going to…" He followed Kate to the door.

"I'm just respecting your wishes. Wouldn't want you to have any regrets. And I think dating will be good for us." Kate opened the door for Castle and he walked through.

"So how many dates are we going to go on before you'll sleep with me, _again_?" Rick is starting to wonder what he's gotten himself into.

"I never sleep with a guy before the fifth date." She smiled to herself as she locked the door and walked to the elevator. Sure this would be torturing both of them, but she knew she could hold out. And it would be worth it.

"Fifth date? No exceptions?" She was going to make him pay. He suggested the dates and she was going to hold him to it.

"Not on your life, Castle. Now, where are we going for dinner? I'm starving." Kate leads the way onto the elevator.

Castle stepped onto the elevator preoccupied with his thoughts. He didn't hear her.

"Rick!"

"Huh?"

"Aren't you going to answer my question?" At some point she was going to have to let up a little. She still intended for him to take her on five dates, but she was being extra hard on him about it.

"I didn't hear your question."

"Keep it up mystery writer man, and I won't even let you kiss me good night." Castle groaned. Kate laughed heartily as the elevator doors closed.

Kate Beckett was right about one thing for sure. Dating was giving their relationship a proper start.

The End


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